Split room

2009-03-10T17:11:00.003+08:00

I missed writing. Whenever something invokes my feelings whether be it sad or anger or love or maybe even curiousity, I can have dozens of sentence popping up in my head trying to express the extend of such a feeling.

I've always have a way with words. Be it in writing a letter or giving a speech, it has always been my forte` to use my pen as my sword. Maybe I finally found a solution to my problem. Since I cannot use my strength to antagonize or to create a stand, I shall sheathe my sword and start writing. Though I do understand that my words may make certain parties feel at fault, and it make even put me at risk of getting hurt, then I shall say some work is actually being done there.

What for being defensive if you're not at fault? Afterall its just a view of a simple ordinary man. Or maybe shedding some light on the truth can actually insinuate me into some trouble that perhaps be unjust?

2008-08-05T20:30:00.001+08:00

My abnormal classmates..ahahah..wats wif the faces man..lucky im not in there..lol kidding2..too bad we have only 1 and half more week together..aww

2008-08-04T01:31:00.002+08:00

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so frustrated right now. Yeah i know its late..grr..just calculated my gpa..its just below 3. GAAAAAAAH!!!! I miscalculated laaaa..last few weeks ago was about 3.2/3.3 ...now it decrease so much. But then the predicted grade at the Leo website said its 3.5 . So which one is it??? I know some modules are not based on 50% ut and 50% daily grades...so maybe leo is true? Idk...Gaaaaaawd!!!!!! Im not going to slack the last two weeks. I calculated that i can push it up bit by bit.

I waaaant that scholarship...i need it...at least it will not burden my parents as much. Then go to university...Requires a GPA of 3.5 points for uni and scholarship. Lucky its for a full year results not only one semester so i still have a chance. So if i were not to be late for the second semester....and aim for a GPA of 4 while having a GPA of 3 in semester 1, i can get an average of 3.5 in conclusion. Aiyaaa....my fault la..late and not taking uts seriously.

I can do it...get straight As for the last two weeks. Hope my ut grades are good like getting at least C. I can make it. DONT BE LATE ANYMORE, GO TO SCHOOL WITH MY FATHER AND TAKE UTS SERIOUSLY.

Been going home late around 10/11pm this past weeks due to cca and school. Gosh no good no good. This week im not gonna attend physical or at least attend half of it. Latest i wanna reach home should be 9. It aint good if i keep coming home late..my parents are nagging but they are understanding so i guess i better do my best to come home early..better not make them worry.

And yeah this week was huiying's bdae so Happy bdae huiying..happy 15th bdae not 16th xD..if ur reading this..haha paiseh...
Strike midnite we planned to spammed her with wishes and 15 nudges...added a few people in one convo and did it..accidentally gave her 16 nudges and confidently said happy 16th bdae...skali paiseh! roflmaolol like wth..15 la oi..then cass said wth?u call urself her fren and don even know her age..xD sorry la..lol

And so yeah..helped that tube with his outing with her..
tube
is
a
noob..
if ur reading this tube...lol i said i will help if u need help but not plan everything for u..zzzz. I try to keep the details at minimal..haha donwan sabo..
Lucky for u everything went well..bought some items for him due to his POOR PLANNING AND TIME MANAGEMENT..actually i just bought lighter la thats all xD ..i tried to call him to ask whether he still needed the rest but he switched off his phone..damn frustrated la..i thought he was emo-ing and purposely off his phone and maybe went home in exasperation..gosh that would be a disaster..and it was alr late. Im worried now..wth? Then he appeared with huiying at the mrt station..i was like ouh?? =x ...Then he said where the other items..i was like =.=" ..but just passed the rest which i have. Huiying was suspicious alr so i quickly passed and wished huiying hapi bdae and go home to continue my sleep...wakaka.. Well at least everything went well for him..lol and yeah your welcome.

So yeah thats my weekend..dad's not home..went back to kelantan for reunion with his exschoolmates..like a homecoming...like waaaay back man..no wonder his frens were calling the house lately..His frens must really remember him after all these years and even attempting to contact him all the way here in singapore..hes on the way back home..hope and praying he arrive safely and quickly. These few days im like guarding the house..since im the eldest son..its very stressful and i dont like it. I appreciate my parents alot. They handle alot of responsibilty. Its good to always be a child..someone will look after you always but once u grow up..its hard especially when ur old who is gonna look after your back..appreciate all these when they're still here..once u lose it..its gone..its never gonna come back.

It's 2am ...still have laundry to do and need to sleep..rmb no more lateness...
Catch a star.. hang on tight.. sweet dreams.. nitey nites =]

2008-07-31T15:13:00.002+08:00

Broken and set records. Had physical tests a few days ago. Been my best perfomance so far, broke my personal record. 80 pushups, 21 pull-ups and lockoff of about 1 min 6 seconds. It was good, all the training paid off. Some of the guys improved too..even hadi can do all those ..dont mess with him..he may look small but he got muscles now tube..haha

Was cheated at that test. I aim to do lockoff(chinup and stay at that position with elbows locked) for only a minute...but they say 9 seconds more...bit more bit more bit more..turns out to be more than 1 min. ZZZ...well at least i was cheated to do more, it was ok..
Technique being a bummer..i've lost my touch to climb now..nvm..

Class getting fun though its a shame we only have two more weeks left togther. Better make the fullest outta it

2008-07-22T16:53:00.003+08:00

K now update my blog la...and here it is...

nth much happening. Rock climbing becoming more fun. Class becoming a riot..ahah and thats all i guess..and yeah theres a genuine gay in my class lol..

Sick as always la..supposed to perform for the president coming to RP but what the heck..might as well stay at home before gets any worse. Must be due to the rain and rockclmbing and soccer yesterday. Wasted my chance to go inside the news la beb..haha. Note to self: Dont push myself again.

Waaa..just heard from my frens that the presidentt visit was awesome...get to climb alot and free fooooooood...!!!!! Aiya nvm..at least i dont get to suffer in science lesson ahahahah

Anyway i did wat u ask and well it was the same as i said...But thanks for caring :)
Better now i think..thx :]

So gonna do my thing and u do ur thing(wth is that suppose to mean?!?!?! ahaha) And if ur bored u can suggest to me topics to write...im doing compos in my spare time..maybe write a book maybe..haha *expand my talent* :P wakakaka

buhbye

2008-07-07T20:58:00.004+08:00

Forgive me...it was an honest mistake..please its true

I did something foolish..very foolish so dumb and stupid that it might cause all my hardwork, my effort my commitment to go down the drain. All my efforts, my passion...my dedication..my heart put forth into this might actually be destroyed y my very own hands..Here i am writing feverishly with my hands shaking..i cant bear the agony if it ever happens. This sick feeling...the moment i saw those very words, i felt as if my heart stopped. So in denial i was that i almost threw my laptop to avoid seeing those very words i saw. One thing that could hurt me was hurting my love ones. I could stand bashing, beating but hurting people that i care about with my very own hands, thats like ripping the skin out of my flesh slowly. Oh God please help me...Oh dear Allah almighty help me...please..

Im not the typical who treat girls like as if they are toys or things. Women have always have a high position in my heart, my life. I saw the agony of my mum pregnancy, man who treat my aunts like a car which you can scrap once you find a new one by divorcing them. I hear their woes, their sorrows. I swore never to be like those men so vile and heartless. Dont make me one of them cause im not...the moment i saw u..i knew there was no other like you. Your innocence, your determination never to be persuaded by others was like no other i've ever seen. I dont want to lose you. I dont even believe there is someone like you out there. What i always picture my dream one would be all is evident in you. It felt like a miracle, a wish, a prayer come true. I was once torn and ripped apart when i confessed, i wont want to feel that feeling anymore. Please it was an honest mistake. It was my fault to put something without details along with it. I dont know what to say anymore. I dont know how to make it up to you. So please..give me a chance to explain at least. The pain so agonizing i didnt realise it shows...
I cant even picture how you must have felt so please. With evry single energy and strain of hope still left, please.

2008-07-07T15:11:00.004+08:00

Politics

Bleh...blog because i have too..planned to let my blog rot for a while but gotta broadcast something before anything happens...

Anyway let's start with the past happenings first, hmm...ohya i left off when i decided to leave the track team. Yes i did! It feels like as if im tearing my dreams apart at first but it was a relief after that. Lucky Hadi followed me..haha thanks man. Oh and i get sixth for the rockclimbing competition among the year 1...means im in the top ten list = Sponsor from school for upoming competitions. Disappointed though, could have done better...nvm its my first competition and i was sick before so havent regain my strength back. Managed to complete 2/3 routes..still got one more to go..im not satisfied until i complete and climb every route.

Im glad i quit track, at least i get to concentrate more on climbing now. Hadi, Faruq and Izzat joined too..the more the merrier i guess. At least i have people i am familliar with and i feel good teaching what i know(at least i try to..heh) And i like follow girls climb and hang around with them. Nonono..dont get it wrong. What i mean is that they climb using technique since they dont have as much muscle like guys...which is good since i can train my technique with them. I also like to watch them climb..nonono. Not in that kind of way. I mean i can learn from the way they climb, girls are much better climbers than guys who only knows to just use strength. Anyway i dont like hanging around with them too much..they are those type of cliques that kind of look down on the not so good ones. I dont like them. But sooner or later i got to mix around a bit. So i wont be pushed aside. At least i see the coach recognizes and knows my name, thats good enough for now..work hard and u'll get credit.

Ohya i am determined to improve on my late coming issue. My teachers have been pointing it out to me for a long time. And so does my classmates..Here are some comments i got fro my journal...

Culture: Take note of your late coming issue.

Science: On another note, you do need to work on your punctuality. What for getting 'A's only to have the grades drop 0.5 point each time?

Enterprise: Also, it would be very helpful to yourself if you can be more punctual for classes.

Wah..cannot be late anymore i guess..i feel like spiderman :P
Everytime late one...i dont know why but sometimes its not deliberate, its just im late somehow..
Though sometimes its not on purpose, i really have something to do. For example im supposed to meet yani and shafiqah at 430 and im late because i just finished classes and pray in case i dont make it..sorry to keep u guys waiting..dunnoe how long u guys waited..(im so ungentlemanly..argh crap la..*bang my head bang my head*)
well i have to work on it..if not im in serious trouble..

Ohya damn la...youth day today and poly dont have any holiday..argh!!! Im still a youth dude..ah nvm then..like gazali quote "DudE! grow up man..be an adult! Live a life with drugs and rock and roll!" Erm..ignore the last part..lol. I want youth daaaay...i went to class today then the faci ask eh? i thought u want to skip lol..i just shrug..wat to do..anyway i wanna go rock climbing..

Bleh i learned a new principle. Actually i know before just im too stubborn to work on it. Give a lot but not everything. People expects a lot from me especially my teachers. Now i feel like i have to do myself everytime i do an assignment. Its exhausting you know. I feel even more frustrated when i do an excellent job and im being scolded because of that. When i do a good job i kena scold when i do a bad job i kena scold when i do average say go and improve.

Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz HaizHaiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz Haiz

Ah getting headache la..somemore these few days i feel kind of weak..i know its partly of gastric. Before i just have chest pains-then it becomes headache-then my hands become cold-then i become weak-then i start to black out, my eyes turn dark-and so on so forth

I just vomitted because i ate too late just now...

Theres another thing i worry about. Ain..its a disease related to my religion. Penyakit Ain aka Sihir mata..

Apa Itu Penyakit ‘Ain?
Kadang orang tua merasa panik dan merasa aneh ketika tiba-tiba permata hatinya menangis terus sepanjang hari tanpa ada sebab yang pasti, sakit….tidak juga, digigit serangga pun tidak. Lalu…?
Penyakit yang diderita anak-anak tidak semuanya bisa dideteksi dengan ilmu kedokteran. Ada juga sebab syar’i yaitu penyakit ‘ain. Sebagaimana pernah terjadi di zaman Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. Beliau pernah melihat anak perempuan di rumah Ummu Salamah istri beliau. Di wajah anak itu ada warna kehitaman. Beliau kemudian berkata kepada Ummu Salamah,
“Ruqyahlah dia, karena dia terkena ‘ain.” (H.R Bukhari dan Muslim)
Di hadits yang lain juga diceritakan bahwa Rasulullah Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam pernah menyuruh anak-anak pamannya untuk diruqyah karena badannya kurus-kurus seperti anak yang kekurangan.
Penyakit ‘ain atau pandangan mata adalah pandangan seseorang terhadap sesuatu yang dianggap menakjubkan disertai dengan rasa dengki, sehingga mengakibatkan bahaya terhadap yang dipandangnya. ‘Ain juga dapat terjadi dari pandangan yang penuh kekaguman tanpa disertai rasa dengki, bahkan bisa terjadi dari orang yang shalih. Sebagaiman pernah terjadi pada sahabat Nabi, Sahl bin Hunaif yang terkena ‘ain dari sahabat yang lain, yaitu Amir bin Rabiah.
Penyakit ‘ain itu benar-benar ada dan bukan khurafat yang dihubung-hubungkan dengan pujian. Sebagaiman anggapan sebagian besar masyarakat Indonesia bahwa pujian kepada seorang anak akan menyebabkab sakit. Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda,
“’Ain itu benar adanya. Seandainay ada sesuatu yang bisa mendahului takdir, tentu akan didahului oleh ‘ain.” (Riwayat Muslim)
Jadi bukan pujian yang menyebabkan dampak buruk bagi anak yang dipujinya, melainkan bermula dari pandangan mata sang pemujinya, baik pujian itu karena ada rasa iri atau karena benar-benar ada kekaguman.
Tindakan Preventif Terhadap Penyakit ‘Ain
Para orang tua hendaknya berusaha melindungi buah hatinya agar terhindar dari penyakit ‘ain, dengan cara:
Melindungi diri dan anaknya dengan membaca ruqyah-ruqyah yang diajarkan dalam Islam dan membaca doa,
“Aku berlindung dengan kalimat-kalimat Allah yang sempurna dari setiap setan, binatang berbisa, dan dari setiap mata yang jahat.” (Riwayat Bukhari)
Juga membaca doa yang digunakan Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam untuk melindungi Hasan dan Husain,
“Aku berlindung kepada Allah untukmu berdua dengan kalimat-kalimat Allah yang sempurna, dari segala setan, binatang yang berbisa, dan pandangan mata yang jahat.” (Riwayat Bukhari)
Siapapun orangnya jika melihat sesuatu yang baik ada pada dirinya, anaknya, hartanya atau yang lainnya yang menakjubkan dirinya, hendaklah membaca doa,
“ Masya Allah (atas kehendak Allah), tidak ada kekuatan melainkan hanya dengan (pertolongan) Allah. Ya Allah, berikan berkah padanya.”
Sebaiknya orang tua tidak mengungkapkan kelebihan-kelebihan yang dimiliki anaknya, karena hal itu dikhawatirkan akan menimbulkan iri pada orang lain.
Apabila Terkena ‘Ain
Saat anak kita mengalami sakit dan ternyata sakitnya karena ‘ain, maka:
Jika pelakunya diketahui, maka orang tersebut diperintahkan untuk berwudhu. Bekas wudhu orang tersebut digunakan untuk memandikan anak yang terkena ‘ain.
Tapi jika tidak diketahui perbanyak membaca surat Al-Ikhlas, muawwidzatain (An-Nas dan Al-Falaq), Al-Fatihah, ayat Kursi, 2 ayat terakhir surat Al-Baqarah, dan mendoakan dengan doa-doa yang disyariatkan. Membaca pada air disertai tiupan, kemudian diminumkan pada anak yang sakit dan sisanya disiramkan ke tubuhya, atau dibacakan pada minyak dan minyaknya dioleskan ke tubuhnya. Lebih baik lagi jika bacaan itu dibacakan pada air zam-zam.
Orang tua mana yang tidak ingin anaknya dapat tumbuh dengan sehat dan selamat. Oleh karenanya perlu bagi orang tua untuk senantiasa memperhatikan kondisi jasmani maupun psikolagi anaknya, baik ditinjau dari sisi kedokteran secara umum atau secara syar’i. Wallahu a’lam…

Sumber: majalah-Nikah vol.6 No.5

And i been going to astronomy...i like looking at the sky ever since a kid..i can stare at the sky for hours...especially when its raining...heres a rose nebula..mentioned in the Quran...so beautiful...

Salam Alykum The Rose NebulaThis image was taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. The picture is of a dying whitestar in the outer Nebula. Some few million light years away. When a stardies it explodes releasing colourful gases.It is amazing with regards how accurately the Quran describes these events some 1400 years ago!!! This post has been edited by SayedMohammed: Sep 21 2005, 04:33 AM

Gtg now..discuss some things with faruq and confirm whether i want that VP role...i dont like taking responsibility and commitment..its a burden a heavy one..and i got climbing..

2008-06-21T17:42:00.005+08:00

Indecisiveness, i hate it

Words to describe the week. Horrible, painful, indecisive, reluctant, unproductive and chaotic. The first week was absolutely no good. Horrible. Keep being sick, how to work like that? I've learned to endure it but i can work to my full potential..gah! First day was fine since my group mates were the types who do work and it was quite excellent actually. Second lesson was just average. I never talk at all in the first second meeting. The teacher keep looking at me to contribute. I just stared back. In a way, its quite funny actually haha. But this week really showed how much week i've always done. It seems that im the one who do the most and leading. It can be ssen from this week because since i never contribute, work is not being done. They keep waiting for me to lead, im not superman u know. My group in science lesson did horrible since i went home because i was too sick. It can be seen from the comment. No one wants to lead. Well, in conclusion i call this week, the F week. Because im kinda failing a lot this week and i got my first F. It feels erm...nice..nono..familiar... haha...fail sebelum kamu difailkan...yeah rite.
Ohya the tests, horrible also i think im gonna get F for them. Ah nvm, the other grades will make up for it. Anyway its 3/4 test grades taken so do better next time. Ohya did i mention i hate rp...but i talk abt that another time. Dizzy ah. Lol.

Sick sick sick...dunnoe need go get blood test or not. Now add one more, diarrhoea. I keep erm..imagine u cant close the pipe then water keep gushing out...eew ya u got the idea..well its controlled now..dont worry..heh. No one at home...good and bad. Good bcoz at peace. Bad bcoz if anything happen no one to help me. Ah..forever la sick...just live with it. Im gonna quit track and field. Im everytime sick. The last time i did long distance i feel like my heart almost stopped. People around me advice me to stop. Im undecisive but i think im gonna listen. I dont want to drop dead while running, anyway i've lost the passion.

I used to love running. Its like ur free like a bird. No one can catch up with me and its like im running away from my problems. So free so alone so at peace. Its like everything just go whoosh and blur...all u think of is run run run run and run. The pain is like a medicine, a sweet for the pain, the stress i feel inside. All the probelms i convert it into fuel for me to run. Its just amazing the feeling. And at the end when u feel like ur gonna die anytime from exhaustion, u can stop already and the feeling of relief is ...shiok..haha.

I used to feel all that. But not anymore. I used to envy those who run representing other people especially in tv. I knew i can be one of them. Their abilities give inspiration to people. Expand the capabilities of what you think a human can do. Not anymore. My body seems to have a limit now. I used to have unlimited strength and dont feel tired when i was young. Hyperactive or whatever u call it. Ever met those kind of people, the dont feel tired kind. I used to be them. Not anymore. People taught me to slow down and be human. Now, now i have a limit. Coz u see those people, those athletes, they have a flame within..whenever u talk to this people abt it, got sparkle in their eyes. I've lost it. I dont envy them anymore. I dont say i also can do. Now i say they are amazing people. Me? I have a new interest. Rock climbing. Although its not recognize in olympics or anything, its what i like and i want to do it. I dont have to, i want to. We'll see if i shall hang my running boots on the wall. It shall be soon.

The other problem. The other confusion. The other indecisiveness. The reluctance. The hesistance. Come here..go away..come here..no, go away. Confusion making me confused myself. Actually me too doing same thing, its a contradiction with myself but how i want it so much. Im scared if i dont, i will lose forever. Hard to find. One of a kind. One i've been looking for. Be neutral i tell myself and i do. But its hard. Take it slow ...no rush i know. Ah whatever la...sometimes i wonder why i get myself into this, then i remember why...grr..
That wanna run away but u cant feeling...

Let time do its magic...if ever there was any then it shall be...

Nota: KK...betapa geramnya aku...aku takkan mengikut perasaan..dia belum bersalah...dia hanya mengatakan niat tapi belum melakukannya...mahupun begitu aku akan tetap berhati-hati dengannya....ragu ragu sungguh kelakuannya..grr..mesti ingat, jaga bicaraku serta kelakuan ku di depannya...dia bukan orang yang aku kenali dahulu

2008-06-19T16:31:00.002+08:00

Something wrong with me...tired of being tired..gah!!

I've been very sick lately and it has been long already. Either the medicine is not working or there is something wrong going on with me. I recovered already but not fully. My temperature still goes up and down and i feel very weak at times. Sometimes i feel very heavy on the head as if its gonna explode any time soon. I went to see the doctor the other time and was advised to go to hospital if the medicine still doesnt kick off. Im very tired of being sick. I dont know whats going on. Is it dengue or something much more serious?...
Just hope i get well soon...if not i must go to the hospital to do some tests which is gonna be very troublesome not only for me but my parents as well...

Haiz...dear God make me well again..please..

2008-06-12T23:39:00.003+08:00

Throat infection can make you really really really sick!!

Argh...feel so horrible..for 3 days already. Yesterday and the day before it was the worst..high fever. The most funny part was i thought i was fine already. The lower part of my body including my hands and feet was very cold in fact. When the doctor take my temperature, the thermometer take so long to measure that i thought it was faulty. In the end it showed i have high fever... =x

My throat feel like it has been smashed and i can barely swallow my own saliva..
They say sickness is a way to redeem your sins. Well i think better now than in hell.
In a way it is good since i am sick during the holidays and in a way its bad since i cant carry out stuff i have planned for quite some time. Im going back to bed now...body start to tire again...

Btw Happy Birthday Shafiqah, may all your good wishes come true and may you have lots of bdaes ahead.

Too bad im sick...you cant get ur present..some other time i guess. :P

Something wrong with my tagboard...bleh!

2008-06-02T05:27:00.002+08:00

Holidays!!!

Well, luckily holidays are here finally. I am almost burn out. So tiring. The few final days before holidays i was seriously so drained. Throughout class i might look like Einstein doing some physics equation...especially in science. I was playing with my hair, i like to touch or fiddle with my hair when i think because somehow it makes me at ease and make me think easily. However since my hair is long, it starts to become messy and puffed up until almost afro like..haha. The whole class was saying "hanif relax...relax no need so stress..u look like mushroom head"..wth? lol. So cut my hair now...its a lot neater and i feel more free than ever..aah!! How does girls do it..haha ok anyway they are girls and im a boy..maybe thats why. So that makes me not gay..cool! Nonsense haha...

Anyway school is not being so good these days, very very tired. So tired that it shows in my face and body. With trainings and school, its draining my energy like a running tap water. Anyway still manage to get good and constant grades. Woah...this week constant As..wee!! Except the last week where i get C...pfft!!! The faci mark so fast, the next day i want to send my RJ, he finish marking already..oh well nvm..
Ohya my tests, damn so frustrated...the tests count 50% of my gardes and lucky got 4 tests altogether. Somemore the questions not real questions, dumb questions that use logic..gah! I get a D ==" ..sad sey. Work so hard to get As and Bs then finally combine with thet test get C+, sheesh.. frustrated with RP. Oh well...nvm theres next time..

So here i am ...updating on recent events since my blog is becoming rotten and that someone asked me so..haha. Damn net was lagging last night...people keep getting half of my messages and i keep getting half of theirs...later make joke..get half the messages..become something else =x
Gah..oh well..if i nvr say anything or i say something dumb..dont get offended..
Well getting ready to go to Langkawi now..will be like a two day trip..tommorow then i arrive..have to take the bus and ferry all on my own since my family is already there and also becoz my dad forced me to go alone...zzz

Anyway gtg...if not will miss my bus...so cya guys..in around a week..

ohya in advance Happy birthday Yani! May all ur wishes come true and may you have lots of bdaes more to come...

Bungee jumping?Parachuting? haha kidding

How does ice skating sound like?Bowling? or juz a movie..?hmm...

PS. UNKNOWN AND PLANKTON AND MR KRABS SAID HI

2008-05-25T17:30:00.002+08:00

Superkalayfajelistickespeelladoscious

Reply to the tags/comments. Its ok..its fine now. Its already over and thanks for the concern peeps. The fact that we keep it to ourselves is because its our problem and it doesnt need to concern more people than it already is. And i don't trust people..thats one thing about me so don't feel hurt or anything. Thanks anyway for the concern people, such good frens :]. Anyway its over and case closed..lets move to a more brighter topic or basically more about my life..heh.

Hmm..lets start with school, exams and exams. Managed to do everything well and passing should be of no problem...i think..I screwed one last exam though, my tafsir or translation exam. Damnnnnn....cannot find my book!!!!! Where the damn book go! I just read it that time..gaah!! I have to recall back what i have learnt and try to interpret some words myself. Read up quickly what my friend has summarised. Phew lucky i did, it pretty much help me..i will be glad if i juz passed. Well still got two test left before the holiiiiiiidddddaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyssssssss.......

Other than test and test, there is train and train. Just finished my first race on Saturday. Quite tiring i mean verry tiring...i think i shall stay in track and field for the first semester and see how it goes. Went to Safra yishun on Friday for rock climb. Woah there is a room there, CLIMBING HEAVEN WEEE~!!!...everywhere got rock even the ceiling. I feel like a child playing in a playground when im there..really like funfair..only the floor got cushion..some do backflips and all..hahaha fun fun fun...but i didnt stress too much since its the day before race and i still need to improve on my techniques. And i need to learn to use shoes, barefoot is nice and have a grip but after sometime, it starts getting slippery and cannot climb anymore...I HATE SHARP SMALL ROCKS ><..no more kampong style.

Ohya these few days, people keep asking me weird questions and comments. One is that my coach dont believe me that i am 17, i look old?! lol ok nvm..i look MATURE..haha
And my class thinks im kinda the quiet and serious type or somehing. Its hard for me to open up to new people so when i start making a few jokes that day, they say "wah hanif...u make ur first joke..good ah..usually u sit there and laugh laugh"...i think i should stop acting innnocent? haha

Heres a comment from my teacher: Hi Hanif,thanks for the RJ! You have shared a rather interesting RJ. I could see an effective thinking process from you. Keep up the good work!As for class, I like your constant sharing and questionings. You may want to consider opening yourself more to the class. Perhaps you will find another different experience from it. You seemed very 'strictly business' type.

Hahaha...i did a good job but im too dilligent?

These few days, my screw is a bit erm..loose. Things must been getting to me which is why im cuckoo. So i apologize if i do anything random/stupid/rude/inconsiderate/evil/bad. My brain not working well and i cannot find the screw driver. Bad time to make jokes now...later if never work..brr..hahaha

And im to mischief these few days...hahaha. I love acting blur and playing pranks on ppl. HARMLESS pranks so dont worry ;]
Im evil...what can i say..screw loose...

Anyway im gonna start doing goal setting and keeping track of progress...and project!!!

2008-05-25T02:04:00.002+08:00

9th place, 18:54 mins of pain.

Finished my race this afternoon. Got up in the morning. Still felt tired so slept somemore till abt noon. Eat and make some energy energy drink and making sure i have enough glucose or energy in my body to burn later. Left home and met up with Ebnue and Hadi. They were going to play some DOTA...too bad i cant follow them. Borrowed Ebnues' ipod so that i can psyched myself on the way there. The mrt was packed! Luckly it was just a few stops to Ang mo kio from woodlands. Anyway asked the control station just in case what bus i need to take. Hmm...the info was different from what i get from the internet. So i just followed and i did reached there though i was a bit late. Quickly changed to my gear. Then i realised something, i forgot my socks..damn! Lucky no blisters today. I wore sandals and i left my socks while i was searching for the other sock of the pair.

So put some heat ointment and the smell of it was woohoo!!! Those kind of hot oil u put when u got a stomach ache. Wonder how the people arnd me felt since the the bottle leaked. =x
Used it so i wont get cramps since it will keep my muscles heated. Had warm ups so that i can condition myself and i get to pace myself. So the girls started first, veteran and junior category. Woah the girl's timing was better than ours 15 minutes something >.<
zzz..no comments.

So my race started, there were so boys from some school which i dont know. Looks like secondary school students. Quite good. Coach was telling us about few guys we should look out for. Those were the big shots who dont even bother to warm up and still win! damn...

The starting was quite chaotic and everyone was squashed together but it started to gap as we found our pace. Vijay, a guy in my team ran already so far in front. If i were to follow him, i bound to lose energy so i just make sure i can see him always. I keep overtking this old uncle, since it was veteran and juniors altogether, and he keep overtaking me..zzz. In the end when there was this downward slope i speed down like no one's business..haha. I know how to let go and use little energy to run and make use of gravity. Something i learn in sec sch when i ran around the school. The route was the same route as the first cross country held in my sec sch so i planned out when to go all out. I know there was this very tough slope upwards, super demoralise one, i tried it out before when i was in sec sch. And like i predicted, many walked up so i took advantage and overtook them..wee!!

Ran by the road, keep looking ahead for Vijay and to see whether theres an opening, if there is, its almost the end and i can burn up all my energy. Keep overtaking and being undertook by this kid...in the end, when i saw the opening, i speed up. Coach was there and he keep said "Go ahead turn left and the end ...cmon quick" So i when i see the left turn, i sprint like woooohooo!!! From position like 13, i end up till 9th. The people looked around seem shocked, still can sprint at the end..haha. But wasted ah...should have sprinted earlier then i could have been top 5.
Aaah nvm la..the prize pathethic anyway $2o voucher...haha the lucky draw prize was sooooo much better like for example portable dvd player...

When i was lying down on the ground after im done, sweaty and having difficulty breathing and almost passed out due to overheat, i started to think that i really should quit. Seem that i really burned out. I cant find my teammates so i juz staggered to the toilet and try to cool down before i faint. Then went out and seriously my breathing was heavy...

My teammates came over and when i know of my position and timing, I was impressed and happy...now i dunnoe whether to quit. I did quite good and this is without training...but if i continue, can my body endure it? I heard of people dying because they pushed over the limit. Im confused now......

Went back home..saw maggi and me on the tv on the bus..quite nice after a tiring day. On the mrt, there was this philipino family. Then there were these two small childs of theirs keep running around. Quite funny and cute ahahah..remind me of my brothers(When i reached home..i have a craving to squeeze my baby brother's cheeks hahaha)

Gotta sleep now...very late and i keep saying i should study for tmrw's tafsir exam but i havent even started..zzz[Quran translation exam] Nights peeps

Project aibohpairtakedevaksarap really needs attention....
Wasting time here Hanif..think quick and make up your mind.

Dear God..make me confident and strong of heart..not only in this, but also in everything. I keep going back and forth on my words and intentions. Please...

Im tired now.

2008-05-23T23:54:00.002+08:00

Suicide!!! Torture!!! Oh why did i ever enter....

This is gonna be a short quick post.(I hope.) This week was train and train. Very packed that i came after nine for almost 90% of the week..sheesh. Lucky my mum didnt mind so much since she knew i got cca and stuff and furthermore i already done my prayers at school. She just nag sometimes hahaha. Anyway been thinking alot about road race or simply track and field. Should i quit it? I already got rock climbing and i looove climbing...my fav since young..climb trees and anything lol. But if i quit what abt my dreams?? I used to be the fastest around and i dreamt about representing the school, even singapore or malaysia and break records. I managed to mark some mark in secondary school. One of the top runners. Especially known for long distance since i got the 2nd best timing in the whole level. (Show off a bit heh..painful u know..)Sometimes it get irritating ah and i bug ppl..like for example juz because i join an event, they will back out..doesnt mean i win what..so sometime i like fake it juz to release my frustration.hahaha...im such a tooot

Anyway i dont really have any friends in track, mostly chinese and they speak chinese within them..zzz. I understand a bit la but not all u know...Somemore my sickness have came back..chest pain and back ache. I usually gt this when i do long distance which is why i hate long distance. Why i havent thought of this when i join. AARGH...
Anyway what will it look like if i quit..like as if im giving up and cannot take it? but seriously i dont really care about this factor i just care about my dreams which is keeping me still holding. I wanna win competitions but it seems i have lost my drive. Haiz..i think about it again ..after my race tmrw at macritchie. Anyway really really must sleep. Wish me luck and hope nothing bad happen. I dont mind losing but at least not last. As long as i dont faint or even die or get some severe chest pain or anything....i be thankful. Suicide mission as i call it or torture.
But after some time..the pain makes u kinda high and its kinda exhilirating..lol..bit more..push bit more...5km =x

Enough psycho-ing myself by music...nighties

2008-05-18T23:27:00.005+08:00

This what happen when you try being United Nations

A few things happen the last few days that shocked me. Even though i know it was coming, i been denying it all this time, tried to stop it. I was somewhat in denial of what had happen to the very people around. A lot has happen, many things have changed and feelings hurt, of which mine is included. Never in my history of seventeen years on Earth have i felt such pain before. The anguish mixed with tinge of anger as well as the feeling of helplessness, the inability to change or mend the situation. I have faith to even believe that i do have someone alike me, my behaviour and my traits. However these few days, that belief was smashed to smitherins.

I no longer believe in anyone. Honestly i have some insecurities issues opening up to people. I do not trust people to know what i feel inside nor what i think. That way, they cannot read or anticipate my actions and also some of it may destroy the relationships that have been long forged. To those i have told my emotions and thoughts of myself or anyone around me, be honoured because i make a big leap to trust you and you better honoured and keep that trust. What happen over the last few days really caused me to further believe there is no one trustworthy in this world anymore. Due to this, i keep everything in my heart, in my chest. I no longer open up to people willingly. Sooner or later because of this i will explode due to pressure or crumble beneath my own feet.

You disregard everything between us just because of one person and your feelings towards her. No, i am not stopping you from feeling the joy and pleasure of love. I do not need to care about your life. I do not need to watch over you all the time. I merely intervene in the problem to help our dear friend who is lost. Lost in his anguish of constant rejection. I want to make things right. Stop the meaningless war between the both of you. Bring our dear friend back to the path he have long astrayed from. He was hurting himself, to the point of even trying to commit suicide. This may be a matter of life and death. Don't you get it?? However in saving a friend, i think i have lost another one in exchange. I am at loss of words. I don't know what to do anymore. The fact that you made me into the antagonist into this whole picture really cuts me somewhere inside. I was merely being the middleman JUST to stop the war. A war that could ruin our friendship.

I dont really give a damn about whose right and whose wrong. Does it really matter that your side is winning? This is a question posed to all that is involved. Is winning the war more important that the ties and relantionship we have made all this while. The hardship we undergo, the blood split from the injuries caused from games we played, sweat and hardwork from the books and balls and words..words that were said we were going to be together no matter what. The words, wherever we go, we shall no waver, we shall not split cause in us, in that very place we once call our second home still lies the spirit of THP 4m4. Those are merely words now. Just alphabets combined together to form letters. Letters that hold no meaning no value it should initally have.

Stop talking about sacrifice. Indulge in the true meaning of sacrifice. The things being given, being loss just for the sake of others. Expect no return nor sympathy nor recognition for this. Thats what you call sacrifice. I am not here to give a lesson on vocabulary, no i wish not. I am here to say if you keep turning your argument about sacrifice you have made, the side of whose right and whose wrong and where it all started from, it will never end. This is how a war starts. One person telling to the other he is wrong and in the end both try justifying their stand. If the worse were to happen is one will disregard the other, insults thrown and relantionship discarded. In the end, the stronger will triumph over the weak who have thus crumbled and smashed. Truce and laying down of our arms is the only solution. Surrender for the sake of making it over. To end all suffering and prevent anymore damage. No more whose wrong or right, who started it first nor who is more worthy.

I have nothing else to say. Even if i do, it has been lost in my feelings of despair i am having by writing this long meaningless essay which no one cares about. To the outside and even to me, i just wrote utter rubbish with fat hopes attached to it. From the look of things nothing is never gonna be the same. I have accomplished my objective. Save Ebnue from the wraith of his own foolishness. But in return i have lost a dear friend whom i love and care alot. One i trust and rely on. He maybe reading this. I am not psychic and do not know what you are thinking. I merely infer and predict from the conditions prior to the situation. I will say no more in this issue. I will back out and will not have any say in this. It never involve me and didn't involve me. I beg for forgiveness to those i have hurt and wronged throughout this process and i have forgived unconditionally those who have wronged and hurt me. Things will never be the same after this even if the situation has been mended.

The Hanif you used to know no longer will show itself. I have changed throughout this process. Don't expect to think you know me because i don't know what has become of me myself. Nothing else to say.

I wish no more of this and if there is ever a need for help, i will not hesitate to come to your aid. I know the situation you are in now. You are confused and in a dilemma to choose which one over the other. I will not stop you nor will i support you. I will now be neutral. Another good example why i never share my thoughts. I will be there to hear you out however. The words i have written is meant for those who are involved. I did not say specifically who and if you feel insulted or hurt because of them, its uo to your own judgement. I have said no names except those of Ebnue. Sorry Ebnue if i use your name without permission. This shall not be the end...i hope.

Muhammad Hanif Bin Zaini
I mean what i said, Yours truly

2008-05-18T21:31:00.004+08:00

EXAMINATION COMMENCED..MUGSSS

Yeah examination period...test test and more test. Lucky i been concentrating in class(kinda..sometimes my hands moving..playing game but BUT i still listen ok)..haha. Anyway its an open book so its pretty much ok. The examination for other subjects other than science and maths and computing was like ugh! There are not real questions..its more of using logic and thinking...wah dont like it man!!!

Then when its the time for science and maths and computing tests...GOD I FEEL LIKE AT HOME..hahaha..at last real questions..I LIKE I LIKE I LIKE!!!! At first stunned ah becoz long time never see such questions..then i transform into my "thinking mode"..so nice to do science and maths again..i miss my sec sch teachers..THANK YOU MS LYE MS LIM AND ALL THE OTHER TEACHERS..miss u alot...

There was the religious class exams today..the night before i keep doing other things to avoid studying..im lazy la..tired...in the end i was speed reading in the morning. Fiqh,rules and ethics, was ok..wasnt that hard and quite fun, i managed to answer all. Faraid,knowledge of separating of the will or remainder of what the dead left, was what i call "black rain". I call that becoz i keep scratching my head then my hair start to fall...yes it sound disgusting i know sooner or later i'll be botak.. I have the info but i answered the wrong questions with the wrong answers..bleh..
LOL since i sit in front..the teachers helped alot lol..sometimes they point out some answers or they discuss among themselves at the front. I was teased for being the only guy among the girls..ler.. jealous is it...
Nvm..i think i will at least pass

Two more papers, culture of RP and religious class Tafsir, translation of the Koran

Till next time...STUDY!!!!

The song move along holds so much meaning..Even when your hope is gone, move along move along just to make it through...

2008-05-14T02:18:00.001+08:00

Classes classes classes....

Taken in the toilet..so clean sey..i like!!! Next time i wanna do business i think i go there..so quiet somemore

My grades is still fine. As and Bs. Hope it stay that way. I am very concerned about my overall marks or GPA. My aim is to get a GPA of at least 3 in all 3 years of study. I need to be one of the top in order to get that place in Monash University in Australia or to be transferred to a medical school. At Monash, i will get my degree within less than 2 years. Save money save time, good degree. But its tiring working hard each day by day since in RP its the average of my daily grades. The head of the School of Applied Science. When i ask her whther i still got a chance to go to med school, she said yes. But i must do really well. Haiz...need to focus and bear with it. There was a talk after the SAS talk, so many food,buffet style..*slurp slurp!!!* I could juz sit there and keep on eating for one day. FREE SOMEMORE...who dont want but i just ate about 3/4 helpings and stop ah...later look as if i never eat for 1000 days...

This week, the problem statement and assignment is getting more complex and mind boggling. But i still manage to complete them though i confess my standard is dropping. Furthermore there is a shuffle of team members. I got new team members in some modules. Gah! Now the team members is poorer than before. This may sound mean or make me sound cocky but its true. They are quite hesitant in discussing. Haiz..i think they are pairing up the stronger ones with the weak ones. Its hard really.

Furthermore today we were shuffled again. In my group there was this girl. It is quite good that she contributes a lot. She also has a high (D)domineering level meaning she is a natural leader or do work in her own way but she has intiative which is good. Now, the problem with this is that some of her ideas maybe out of point and she does not tolerate or accept other people ideas which is frustrating. If two ppl with high D comes togther, it is bad since both want to work in their own style or way. I have a fairly high D meaning when my team is slacking, i will usually step up and become the leader to assign task so that work is done. Grades is concerned here thats why. Anyway i do not like following others especially if i am not confident with the person. However i can still accept and tolerate others. So i argued a bit and was pretty much agitated. The rest was asking since it can be seen from my face but it was too late. I already cheered up..hahaha...because i already finished my task and can start playing games since i am already free.

So went to track and field after that. The coach keep pestering me asking why my attendance is not consistent but I HAVE OTHER COMMITMENTS..ARGGH!!! I dont want to be kicked out..at least i want to get involved for a least a year. Haiz..got myself injured again. pulled my hamstring or thigh. Wasnt as bad as the one before but still irritating since i cant walk properly. Talked to the coach that i cant come to the next training and since it clashes with rock climbing. He gave me a "Think aout it..ur priorities, ur choice" ..gah! Took a bus home. Fell asleep. Woke up at woodlands garden and thought i turn one round since i missed my busstop. But had to alight there. Traffic jam at causeway to johor as always..AAAH!!! Limped all the way home. To make it worse. The bus passed me by when i just moved away from the busstop in like ten metres. What can i say or do..juz walked all the way. Taking a taxi is a waste of money. Its just a bit of pain.

So here i am..thinking abt tmrw's module..maths which is about probabilities which i need to recall again. Its almost 3am. I should sleep and mayybe take a peek in my old maths book.

2008-05-13T22:05:00.001+08:00

Where did i stop in my last post?...ohya my birthday..haha

Ok quick updates, had the Sports camp on 2,3 and 4th May. Went there with half my mind. Only go just because the rest of the PPP went so dont want to be a wet blanket eh..
Went home from school, stuffed things i wanna bring..dragged my feet to school again. Luckily because of the $15 i already paid, if not i might not have gone at all. I was shocked on the first night when we ice break. The forfeit was to dance around a human pole. WTH. Thats way too much. Me and the rest juz stared at each other. Expressed our regret we came and juz feel at lost. That wasnt the place to be...

Went to Sentosa on the 2nd day, dont really like it. The camp tshirt..okok let me rephrase the camp singlet..zzz i was u gotta to be kidding. I hate wearing singlet. I rather be half naked not wearing any shirt at all. Its juz well i dont really see the purpose of the singlet. Ok anyway i know i was bound to be sunburnt so i pretty much stayed out of the sun as much as possible. Do some challenge in the water so i took off my singlet straight for a while, at least i get a fair tan all over my body. But wore it back again, started to become cold and i dont like showing off my body..haha.

A lot of ang moh or eurasian there. To me frankly, they have no shame at all..next time dont wear anything at all ah..but u already did that in ur own country. >.>
One question i wanna ask..whats wrong with u? You suntan so u get darker? Then u discriminate the negros by calling them black...are u mentally retarded?
hahaha..enough of scolding.

Played a game of polar bear on that night with Alex aka Garfield, the facilitator who organize the camp, we knew him already from our DPA classes. The game was very fun. Something like murderer. I keep my face neutral the whole way i played the game showing no emotions. I dont have any as a matter of a fact...hahaha..i was basically dreaming..drifting to..somewhere i forgot.lol. Anyway when it was my time to be the murderer, they didnt even think it was me except for Geraldine. My mistake was i looked at her in the eye, gave me away but no one believe her..hahaha. Went to sleep at around 3/4..woo since we had a little midnight snack after that. We were seriously damn hungry. The food we suspected was not halal so to be safe didnt ate at all. The whole time i keep white-lying to avoid eating..zzz.

Went home early since me, faruq and hadi had religious classes. I juz went straight home since i know i need to cooldown first. God i was tired!! Then juz forced myself to mosque and sit down in class listening/stoning. Hadi cheated. Skipped class. >.>
Might as well go through with the camp till the end. Izzat also cheated since he didnt even have anything at all.

Keep in mind what i choose next time in poly...In poly..theres to much freedom. Sometimes its too much till it crosses the line between my values.

2008-05-02T16:05:00.003+08:00

Updates

The last few days was quite slack i guess. Its either the facilitators expect a higher expectation of me or i am really slacking. Getting more Bs than As in my grades. Furthermore i get my first C this week. Actually not really a C, its just i got downgraded for coming late..zzzz. I hate RP system. For the record i got 9As of which 3 is late and 5Bs of which 1 is late.

So many questions these few days, usually i bother to find them out due to curiousity but now i am too tired to know. Or maybe im afraid. I dunnnoe. Well i just want to rest and stop thinking. Ohya damn DPA, make my life harder. We thought getting into poly will make us more advance than the rest. We were wrong. They dont have or pictures and our library card not activated..sigh. Luckliy i ttold the ibrarian and she helped me to activate it. Now I can borrow the sixth book of harry potter!!! and i already did. I slept 3 hours last night because i cant stop reading the book. Its a good book and addictive...anyway its good for improving ur english. Dont just read it for fun but also try to follow their sentence structure. Actually helped me in english lessons when we do vocab when i was in sec sch. But my parents sometimes fussed and nagged for reading such a nonsensical book.

I got to rush, im actually blogging after class which just ended. I got a camp after this. Sports camp. Joined because of being forced lol. Then some of the rest..faruq and hadi keep on fussing dont wanna attend. Too bad they've paid. I didnt bring my clothes and i havent even packed. :O
Ohya rock climbing is trials start today and last for a month. Too bad cant attend it. I guess i'll attend it next week. And i chose track over rugby. But somehow im feeling half regretful. Getting injured on schooldays. Futhermore so competitive. And some of them are braggers..gah!! If ur good juz shut up la. Aiya nvm . So i decided to train, compete and make them feel a bit more humble. Let the results show.

I'll update on the rest soon i guess. After i finish my book, after my camp and if i have time.

And to those people having exams, study hard and just relax. Its just exams. You can make mistakes now. Dont do them during major exams. Damn i regret not writing rubbish in those exams...just for fun and laughs hahahaha...
And focus on ur studies..dont think and wander ur thoughts somewhere else...u can do those later...Good luck!
And my test are next week too..GOD!!! It counts 50 percent for my overalls...

Cant mind read anymore. The source of info is gone. Many akward questions. Ah juz relax and dont think too much and assume. Lets just dance ....huh? O.o

2008-04-21T00:06:00.003+08:00

The 9 April Week Part 2 Realising what has happen.....
The crime scene....
Now im old...

The conclusion to the 9 April week. This is my first time telling publicly my bdae to everyone. It sure is scary. Somehow everyone seems to be looking at me slyly and whispering behind me. Lol..instincts tell me something aint right. I was expecting a bash. And i was right.

On Thursday or is it Friday, Hadi persisted i go to the library badly. Something is wrong somewhere. LOL. He tried dragging me but of course, it failed haha. So i started to walk out. But i stopped midway and turn back. There were hundreds of people going back..zzz. I hate crowds, might as well wait till its much more clearer. Addition to that, im curious what they have in plan.

So went there and meet them. Then one by one went home, they forgot to bring back the flour they were going to bath me in. Haha so i brought it home. Returned to them on the second last day they can bash me. And on the last day........I WAS BASHED...BATHED IN FLOUR. >.<>Coming of my 17th birthday, every birthday in fact, questions pop in my head. Now about one quarter of my life has pass me by.
Have i truly benefited it?
Used the time wisely?
What do i plan for the future?
What i want to do with my life?
Will there be any such thing as the next birthday again?
Have i done or accomplished what i have wanted to do?
Have i said what i wanted to say to everyone around me?
Do the people i care most and loved know i care for them? Or did i wasted the chance to say what i mean...
I dont want to end up saying "How i wish.....", "If only i coould turn back and..."
No, time would not wait for me. I dont know how much time left i've got. I must live every second as if it were my last. This may sound so dreadful or emo but you gotta think of this once in a while...Its never too early to do so..

2008-04-09T03:27:00.003+08:00

The 9 April week part 1

This is the week that usually screws up for me year after year after year after year. Anyway this week is the start of my official school. It was pretty much fun. Although my groupmates were kinda stagnant..haiz. All like don't wanna talk..how to do work like that. I want my A u knw!..so i usually take control of the situation and step up, i dont like to step up unless the situation calls for it. Its kinda like my fear..yeah i do have a fear. Since my results were dependant on it..better do it. Gah..i hate poly life, i hate RP learning style actually, just stared and im bored with it already. I prefer books homework and tests. They are much better trust me, so u ppl out there still in school, appreciate it and study hard. Studying is boring..true but if your future depends on it..u have to it. I stick to the principle "i dont have to like it but i have to do it" although liking something actually makes it more fun and enables you to excel easily. I scored a B on my first day. Not bad although i would like an A. I didn get it because i didn't justify my claim. O.o ..i dont know what he meant, i did support my claims. ah nvm.

Like always, things tend to screw in this week year after year. For example i didnt hand in my reflection journal on time today. And my marks were dependant on it and i wanna get at least a B day after day. I forgot that i only saved it and didn't submit it so i went to sleep. Woke up at 5 mins before submission. haiz..opened my laptop but it was too late. Submitted through email with an excuse and apology. Lucky the faci is kinda good so i dont think i'll be affected. If i do, it dont matter much, they take 14 best out of 16. Maybe its just normal and its just my mindset being that way, i dont know. Anyway it doesnt matter. Its just a normal day. Its my first day 17 years ago. Its just my birthday.

Some may have noticed, i don't talk much these few days. Too much thoughts in my brain i guess. Too much needs sorting. Affecting my health maybe or its just me being me, i do get sick easily though. Too much kept inside i need to talk. Thats not much crap, nonsense or jokes i can offer now. Maybe i just need a break, take a step back and talk to someone.

2008-04-09T01:30:00.002+08:00

Orientation

2,3 and 4 April were the dates that my orientation in RP were supposed to be held. On thye first day we were supposed to attend a class in which we got to know our classmates and get to know what RP learning style and system is. The rest were new to the IT based system so they get kinda lost. I got in the system and was already in a convo with the rest of the dpa students. I initially wanna keep quiet the fact that i am a direct admission student but i told them as i helped them since they were curious why i am familiar with the system. Had a mock test. It was VERY easy, the questions were of primary school level. It was mock afterall. The class was kinda quiet and akward. I spoke up a little to get used to the situation. Anyway marks is based partly on participation so i gotta get used to it.

The 2nd day of orientation is with the school of science. Gotta know some people, ahmad hanif another guy with almost similar name was in group. There was viknesh, wati and 3 2nd years who were the student leaders, Adilah and two others who have similar names, Nashita. I knew some of the seniors since i am one step higher in religious class. They were like "hey arent u in my class?" and i blantly smile back and say "no..haha" and they shouted "ahh..liar!!"..haha..usually im silent and an angel at religious school unlike in normal school..lol. So i dont want my identity exposed! haha..the day was pretty fun with amazing race and it was easy..me cass and hadi pretty much cheated..we already knew the school..the seniors was wondering how we knew the school so well..heh.

On the third day, we got the student union shirt and we did some cheerleading with house cheers like for my house/school is SAS, school of applied science. haha, the cheers were kinda weird and funny though but it was fun. Then there was the RP warcry, learned the lyrics but didn't tried it out but knew it was like a haka, war dance done by the new zealand aborigines the one that rugby players do before a game. Went for friday prayers, when we came back, the rest was having another amazingrace. So we just walk around meanwhile and had lunch since the lunch they provided was cancelled, they said it tuned bad. However it seemed fine to me..i ate some of it already. If it were bad i would have vomitted since im sensitive but it turned out that only some are bad but all were thrown away as a precaution. After that we got the leapfrog challenge to break the world record but me and hadi didn't join in. It was becoming late, we were tired and it kinda waste of time. After that there was a party kinda like a concert. I surely didn't want to attend this since with poly comes freedom and it surely went out of control and from what i heard, it kinda did.

2008-04-07T23:07:00.004+08:00

Reunion at the alleyway.STRIKE!

With the ending of the DPA class, many decided to have one last meet up before official school starts. There was a lot of problems in the planning at first since we had to make it suitable for all to come. ALL MUST COME, that was the rule since its kinda like the last time we gonna have fun together just in case in the future we cant make it. Theres bound to be some that will have packed schedule once school commenced, it is poly life after all.

I arrived late. Nonono..not like usual, i have my reasons. Actually i had to stay at home since the repairman is coming to repair the washing machine but my father said it was ok since he would be coming home. So i can go at 10...but wait! my mother asked me to pick up my bro from school..so being the filial son i am :P...i stayed home to picked them up. After that got stomach ache as usual and went to meet Faruq at the mrt. FARUQ WAS LATE TOO. EXCUSES ..SAYING IT WAS ME. He could jolly well go on his own..he wanted to wait for me to delay...zzz...

Anyway moving on, kinda lost at Yishun mrt/interchange. Never hang out in the area. We were supposed to go to SAFRA since they planned to play bowling. So easy just went to look at the board and faruq already knew a bit about the area. Reached the place. Kinda lost. Never bee there before so don't know whether we need to pay to enter. We entered, no need to pay. Its like a CC except its not. Its a club so there are privileges for the members. Maybe i wanna sign up since the high elements there look interesting. High. Its is a club for military men anyway. Met the guys at the bowling alley. My first time. Kinda nervous. I have a paranoia about my fingers getting stuck in the bowling's ball holes and i dropped it and my fingers going snap! Tried holding and testing the balls on the racks. It was ok actually. The probability of me having my fingers snap is kinda low. So tried it out since i have a philosophy which is to try everything out if possible. You only have one life so make full use of it..haha. I treated faruq since its no fun playing alone especially when your opponent is a national player, Clara. Anyway im usually stingy so maybe once in a while ONLY. Just switched shoes (we actually need to loan them but why not use the others' shoes)with the rest who are done playing, need special shoes to play bowling since they wanna protect the floor from dirt or water.

So me and faruq on one side versus Clara(national player) and hadi and izzat who have practiced alot since they arrived early. After watching the rest play, i guess it is now it is time to put my thoughts into actions. I picked up the ball(suprisingly,it is heavy for me. 11 kg is just nice for me) and look ahead, then just threw it and it goes "boom boom..grrr...kabish!" ( in english, bounces on the alley since i threw it which is wrong, rolls down and hits the pins! i managed to knock down most of them but wasnt a strike :/) Nvm..it was a good try for a first timer. I and Clara was in the lead with her leading by 6 points. Then the gap grow wider and hadi passed me, barely :P.
In the end, Clara scored more than 100 points. NOT FAIR and hadi won me by 5 points. I scored around 60. Good try nevertheless. Next time i play im not gonna give any chances..haha. After that we played a bit of pool and a bit of arcade(arcade there was kinda classic with the games) Then went off to eat at the banquet in the shopping mall. On the way we got SMSes from RP informing of our class. Everyone was hyper as they wanna get the same class with at least one of us. I dont really care much ahah since i could just make friends with my new classmate. In the end eqal was with sandra and the rest was at least with one member of our group, usually with ones that take the same diploma. After we ate, Cass became high and can't stop laughing. They she got low and became emo..haha.

Ohya eqal played a prank on us teaming up with the cashier at the bowling alley. He told the guy to fake us that we had to pay over 100 dollars while in fact it was just 70 dollars. He recorded the whole event and laughed all the way back home while watching the playback. Atiqa looked most serious. Faruq didnt even smile. The rest looked stressed too. Me? i looked kinda stoink and blur, lol i am ready to defend if we were to pay 100 dollars. And even if we still do, i guess i must use the money in my pockets to help us out. Anyway DAMN U EQAL...haha but good job..i didnt expect that.

2008-04-04T20:45:00.003+08:00

Flashback

Ok...this is a flashback of the last happenings of the last month. Most of it concern my DPA class...its sad that the class had to end. Its been a long time since i post because it's gonna be long and tiring to write and recalling back my memories but i've gotta start sooner or later i guess. "The only thing constant in this world is change" quoted by someone i don't know. Those words are absolutely true. This world is changing all the time. Thats what life is about. Take it as if it was a start of a new beginning or what i always say, an appreciation of good things that must come to an end. So here goes..
PS: Prepare tissue if your sentimental ...haha (I can imagine people saying crap la NIP..bleh..lol)

Project Inkpot – Writing skills
Project Voyager – Adventure learning
Project Transform – Service learning
Project Gigahertz – Creative computing

This were the projects or topics we learned throughout the class. We started with gigahertz where we first learned how to take good pichas bebeh..and so we were allowed to go camwhore trying to take pictures of things we were assigned to which were the number four, the colour yellow and speed. Learned abt techniques on taking cool and good pictures. Using photoshop and making a good advertisement or poster. Cavvy was our facilitator. Cool dude.

Then we learnt how to make our own web. This is one of my fav topics since i been having with this for a while. Interesting though i was quite lost at moment but managed to keep up..haha. I guess i will try to make my own html script soon. The facilitator was Teelip lim. Cool dude..a friend of Cavvy's. Talented these two ppl are.

Here came the OBS i described before. Fun torture i call it. Just the way i like it. I lioke!
Tracy was the instructor, Ahmad was the assistant. They are hawt!..that summarize all they're about. LOL..kinda..

Then we learnt abt using microsoft excel. Now, this is quite a challenge. Confusing and damn!!...i forgot what i have learnt. It is boring but it is useful. One bad thing abt using computers are the students can msn..the students were criticizing the faci...even i followed suit in the end.. but thats a useful lesson no doubt. Especially in first year i heard.

Then we did the Transform. Kinda eye opening. We were supposed to help out at the welfare home at block 3 in front of marsiling sec..in4 years of schooling in marsiling sec..i didnt knew there was a welfare home in front. O.o zzz...anyway it teaches me not to abandon my parents since most are elders there. It seem sad there are so many unfortunate people around. Since im fortunate enough i should play my part to help them more. haizz... Anyway we were to organize an event to the farms in singapore for the elders, it was quite successful. I became the emcee or leader for the malay group so i must speak up to direct them. Lucky i can switch tongues easily as in languages and slang since i trained since child to speak different languages other than malay and english. Therefore can converse in partially perfect malay or bahasa baku since elders speak perfect malay. I hang out with my nenek and atuk alot so its ok for me to interact with them. Gotta know one them, Pak Ali. I should visit him soon, long time since i visited. Instructor was majorly Mr Soon and Eddy. Eddy looks like arnold schwarzenggar, hes buffed up lol but hes nice. Wei lin helped out too, shes a malaysian..didnt know that lol..can speak malay..never get the chance to hear her speak though. Ohyya btw, there were alot of gays there as in GAYS. One of them was Diana, chasing us around saying "darlin". Lucky he didnt come since my face is one of those "dont mess with me"..lol. If he did mess with me, i will "POW POW" she/he/it [ah juz call it shit] lol i dont mind gentle guys..but gays? ah back off.

Last was inkpot. That was like english lesson. Quite nice and interesting. Learned to do a research paper or thesis. We gonna do a lot of this especially in tertiary level. Its quite troublesome, must do quotes as support. I love writing anyway and learned a few tips. Quite pleased when Ms Connie commented on my writing. Juz need to mind minor mistakes lke grammar and sentence structure. Ms Connie Lim and Ms Ivy was the facilitators. Both are quite good. Not so much stress but i always get sleepy in English classes, dunnoe y. Even long ago in madam radha class, eng rep sitting in front of her still can be sleepy. =X allergic to english lol. Had a one last assignment. Do a article and a booth. Try to convince people one the topic we conveying. The facilitators was our audience, it was quiet nerve wrecking since ur talking to teachers but after a while i got used to it and acted professional. I managed to countered their questions lol. Their "test". The director came and looked around. He didnt talk or asked anything but he looked scary and wears a weird coat. He looks like darth vader. Sorry if u are reading this director =X. HEH

Class was fun with you guys. Its really amazing how we can bond so tight in such a short time. I can still remember the first few week, i was reluctant to attend it, mixing with new people. Now im reluctant to separate. U guys are great..we still can meet up and such. Keep in touch and lets graduate together.

The memories will stay within me as long as possible...
I treasure every moment we had together..
I wish i could make time come to a halt..
Cherish our friendship and may it last forever..
Amazing how tight we have bonded within a short time..
When we meet, say hi or just give a simple smile
I will miss u guys..keep in touch..
For friends such as you, there will always be a place within me..
This is not goodbye, this is an appreciation of the good things that must come to an end..

2008-03-27T02:12:00.004+08:00

OBS;Ubin

This is a brief summary of the OBS course i attended. Well i try to keep it brief :P. Took a bus to the Punggol ferry terminal. Went we alighted from the bus. There were students from some secondary starting from J. Well just call them Jpupils. They looked like secondary 3 students and we were right since i asked a few of them there. Well to us they seem kinda childish with their chatter and clothing since its not sensible to wear fancy clothes to Pulau Ubin especially for the OBS camp >.>. Anyway its none of our business and took a ferry ride there. Long time since i went out into the sea. Felt familiar somehow since i used to go on kayaking trips with ncc.

So settled down and do some admin stuff. Got to know two of my new groupmates. I almost thought they were facilitators but in fact they were just third year students, Sean and Serena.lol. I had to settle some stuff with ncc since i have not submitted my napfa and olvl resultsfor the CLT course.(thats juz useless stuff now since i've already backed out). This is because we had to surrender all stuff related to technology so that we can be connected to nature as much as possible. I surrendered my handphone but still kept my Ipod which i didnt even use much since i was tired and dont really hear songs much. But since i've borrowed it from Ebnue, might as well bring it along just in case.(Luckily its in perfect condition after the camp).

Book into our bunk. Well we are only allowed to use the toilet and storeroom only. Dang! The beds look so comfy and wonderful.(Thinking abt this makes me sleepy,3AM now). But its an all outdoor camp and well im fine with that anyway, sleeping by the beach with the cool breeze. We didnt sleep at first since the scenery was nice with the full moon and such. Too bad we surrendered our handphone. It was really nice like picture perfect. Suddenly the instructor, Tracy came. I jumped in the tent with my shoes in! Since we are supposed to sleep.lol. The others followed suit in terror. Monkey see monkey do. She thought we were up to mischief since we scattered quite fast but we eventually explained we were scared thats all. Although it was quite terrifying because when the large ships pass by, waves would come crashing making it sound as if were flooding but it was just a hoax. I knew by fact that it would not since the tide was at its maximum since its after midnight(peak at midnight,highest tide) but its kinda scary but i managed to get used to it and fall asleep. A funny thing was when the waves come, i can hear the girls from the other tent waking up terrified.lol.

It was a moving camp therefore we travelled for the 3 days from campsite to campsite. I blurted out that i was an ncc cadet therefore me and my frens were required to declare since Tracy do not want us to lead the journey all the way and give others a chance. Me and Geraldine were the first pair of navigators.(Im actually a bad navigator, we got lost coz of me in an ncc competition). I was loss at first but managed to get the hang of it. Kinda like being in geog class and helping my father find roads on the map.haha. I planned the route of the jouney therefore i can back up when the rest lead wrongly since i memorised the map. (believe or not faruq, I have photographic memory) Eventually i became the "main" navigator and if they got lost..ask my opinion even Tracy and they followed it..juz my decision..imagine the stress. Luckily my map skills are not rusty and my instincts are sharp as ever. Most of the time was just my gut feeling. haha..lazy to think anyway i planned enough and i was correct in all.LOL. It was a compass map and i usually followed true north but now its the real map which uses map north. Unfortunately i studied only combined humanities, luckily i figured it out.

Next was the kayaking, and again im being placed pressure because of ncc. Hazwan knew i and heiqal had 2 star kayaking cert since he and gazali are cousins. Argh. It was an expedition throughout the island and we were to be independent and to move alone. All voted me to be the navigator but there was a mix up. I wanted to say heiqal would lead first then me since i want to give others a chance but when i say heiqal's name the instructor juz say ok and cut off my line..zzzz..all looked at me in shocked ..wat was i to do. Well i became the back up guy and help when there is problems so that solved the problem. I eventually became the sweeper or the last guy since i and faruq can paddle quite fast.lol. Secondary school life is not a waste. I didnt know i can drift in the water with a kayak..all was saying action ah action ah..haha..then me and faruq played matrix..go under trees in the swamp and juz bending backwards like matrix..haha..bored la. Suddenly comes one part when i drift then go near the trees, faruq panic, 321..kaboom..CAPSIZE!!!..this rarely happen to me aww..well it was fun..not always u can capsize in a swamp.lol.the water was more salty than the ocean though. At the end many went seasick due to choppy waves and Geraldine had to be brought back on the island by a boat. Lucky i had some experience and know that one must face the wave, cutting it therefore reducing the bobbing effect. :)

The whole experience was fun. Nabilah lose her shoe when she tried to follow me washing the sand out XD. It gel all of us together. Making us closer than before. This can be seen from before the camp and after. I didnt get to try the rockwall though..aww..not part of the course, its the one that has a bump on top..thats challenging and i like it. Im gonna join rock climbing as a cca btw.lol. Anyway however if we dont like someone say it to the person so that he can improve on it. Im talking abt Rawwington. Yes he may not do work and is antisocial therefore tell him. I may be at fault myself since i told him face to face at the end during debrief. This is because we were former classmates and i understand his nature anyway. But enough is enough and some ppl need to change. So guys plz..dont talk behind others, tell them to the face.

The memories will stay within me as long as possible...
I treasure every moment we had together..
I wish i could make time come to a halt..
Cherish our friendship and may it last forever..
Amazing how tight we have bonded within a short time..
When we meet, say hi or just give a simple smile
I will miss u guys..keep in touch..
For friends such as you, there will always be a place within me..
This is not goodbye, this is an appreciation of the good things that must come to an end..

2008-03-14T05:15:00.002+08:00

The pics from OBS, Barker;15+1

Smile barkers and thats our instructor, Tracy at front wearing the cap..BLUEK!

All crazy already..homesick is it? Izzat and Ameerul looking at the wrong camera ah?
Faruq(in blue) and Nabilah(in red) making advertisement for colgate..
Faruq:If u want pearly white teeth use colgate!
Nabilah: Yeah..colgate is the best..call right away!
Hadi is about to vomit already...after looking Yong Liang(in grey) for making that ehem face..
Me? err..I cant wait to go to the toilet...

2008-03-14T03:19:00.004+08:00

Thesis

I just woke in the middle of the night. Its currently 3:30 am. I cant believe i fell asleep early again...zzz. School must have been really draining out my energy. Everytime i come home i will be really tired. Well anyway feeling bored and i should wait for a while before i sleep again and i still have to do my evening prayers later. Ohya i forgot to lock the doors from the inside..wait a min..lol. Ok im back. Phew..must be careful..dont want any burglars to be whacked by me..haha. Btw im watching Ellen ...haha ..theres is a bdae surprise for her which is the band Dramarama, her favourite band playing her playing song. Lol..she look very happy u know how a child look when he sees his favourite cartoon character in person..lol..Happy 5oth bdae Ellen and thank u for accompanying me especially during late nights and boring afternoon..haha.
Ahak that was random.

Ok back to the main topic. What happened today(more like yesterday since its friday mornin, ok lets just assumed its still thursday)? I woke specially early today since i heard that an external facilitator is coming. So i rushed to school and still i am 10 minutes late. And fortunately i heard wrongly. Its supposed to be tmrw..well at least im not [so] late. So today's assignment was to do a thesis which find a topic, research about, write something like a report about it and conclude about it. This is a norm at tertiary level and i should better start getting used to it. So after a lot of deliberation and thinking, I decided to talk about Capital punishment, the death sentence whether its a just and appropriate penalty. I knew that was a complicated topic and even the facilitator thinks it was tedious but time was wasting and i need to decide on a topic quick and do my research. The alternative was to talk about communism on how its good in theory but why cant it be carried out practically but thats tedious and i did not take history in secondary school, i took geography. Therefore i don't have the in depth knowledge.

Went for lunch after that. Cant think with an empty stomach..haha. Today was also the start of enrolment so we saw some of the new students coming in. Some even wore school uniform..lol for poly? Haha anyway we looked around looking at the laptop exhibition deciding which laptop is the most suitable according to its durability, weight and specifications. We went around carrying our loaned laptops acting as if we were "senior" students..haha..as if we were!
To me all the laptops were the same..as long as it can be used, its ok. Anyway the one decided which to buy is my father so i dont think i need to worry about that.
I hope my father dont choose sat or fri to enrol because i predict those are the days when most parents would come. I dont want to be waiting in long queues and standing in crowd. I hate that and knowing my father he does too but he may have work to be done so just gotta wait and see.

So went to library to start researching. Read up some of the details in wikipedia and got some background info. The thing about RP system which is IT savvy is that its very useful. I can look up if the books were available by going to the library website and searching in the catalogue. One thing to note is that the library is one BIG place. I have to go three stories just to find the book that im searching for. By the time i wanted to do my research i was huffing and puffing and needed a while to relax ..phew. Then i was stuck on how to start off the intro. I always have problem with this. But once i've started, then the ideas start flowing in. So i start moving away from my friends since i wanted to concentrate and some were playing which was distracting and someone was playing the piano(GAH!). Then i tried blasting my own song by listening through the earphones and that kinda helped but still its distracting. So i moved yet again even more further away and ended all the conversations in messenger and closed it. This is when my hand start moving and typing. It was still stuck a little but at least i managed to type rather fluently.

Managed to finish it at last and have my friends reviewing while i review theirs before submission. Both Faruq and Hadi did something related to nuclear. It was interesting and we remembered that we actually skipped fusion and fission last year. Man!..that was a good topic but nvm since last year was pretty hectic so we concentrated on the more important topics.

After school, went home straight since Faruq decided not to meet Yani for the tickets. Buying food was troublesome. I dont want to keep eating the same stuff so thought i tried the tender best stall but its crowded. Went to Teh Tarik foodcourt but i dont really trust the food there whether its halal or not, looking at the cooks. So just went to Fucuhn CC and bought the bandito student meal( wanted to try different student meals other than the usual zinger meal) KFC. May not be fulfilling but its better than nothing. Ate straight away as soon as i reached home because cant stop thinking about food. Watched shrek but since i saw it before i guess my brain said its ok to fall asleep. So here i am blogging. Gotta gather my links and start relinking soon. Its almost 5AM...think i just play some games till its time to pray because once i sleep, its hard to wake especially with the cold weather so goodmorning readers and if ur sleeping now, dream well. Hanif

Woah..i think i just wrote an essay..the longest ever post isn't it..
Feeling peaceful..with the cold weather and the song "collide-Howie day" playing in my head..

2008-03-13T03:30:00.004+08:00

Guyys!..I'm BAAAAaacKKK!!

That title sounds much better if i can say it to y'all real life. Juz use imagination la..my voice..my face..my eyebrows movin weirdly. Tooo bad ah..hahaha..

Well..the last post was way back and OBS was suhweeet. Many things happened but thats a story for another post since its 3:38AM. WOOT~ . Juz gonna give really really quick and summarised update of the recenties...

Well lets start with school. After coming back from OBS, we had project gigahertz. Its all about learning simple programming. Its quite fun and relaxed. The facilitator(thats what we call the lecturers in Republic Polytechnic) was Ashwin,unique that he originated from Mauritius. He even treat us all(18 of us) to ice cream and brownies which cost around $50 altogether and he say its ok since its JUST 50 dollars and its nothing..he must be really rich. He's a lecturer so no doubt he is. Moving on, he's gonna further his studies to Ph.d..and hes around 26 years old. Thats cool. Got a few tips from him on becoming a top student. Thx and gud luck Ashwin.

Ohya..before Gigahertz we did Project transform. Oh well reserve that for another post. Thats also a must tell experience. Another one was Project voyager where we did high element stuff..this I LIKE!! ALOT!!..haha..heights is my stuff man..woohoo..another post yet again..

Went for the Ncc officer(CO)briefing course. Looked through the list of events and all, its quite easy to pass. Luckty theres no rope test, I suck at that. I pity the girls. Thres only two of them in the course. The last week of the course clashed with
my first week of school. I may miss first day of orientation but i know much about the school already so i think its ok. I may be able to attend 2nd or 3rd day. But on the 4th and 5th day, i will be having a ceremony like graduation.

Hmm..next i'll be going to Mia Musica since Faruq and the rest are going. Ms Lye will be going also and so do some of my ex-classmates since they need to help out the juniors. So it'll be pretty much like a reunion. It may be tiring for me since the concert is in between my CO course so i may be pretty much drained. The only problem is we may be late since we need to pray/Magrib. Lucky theres a mosque at Raffles place near the river. Should be seeing some familliar faces...so juniors reading this, Please smile back and say hi..haha

Now im currently doing Project Inkpot which is like an English lesson. Here we learn how to do argumentative/discussive essays which we gonna do alot of at tertiary level. Thesis and stuff. The class is supposed to do an individual essay tmrw which is at least 400 words long. Its of no problem since i love to write and stuff but you know the mentality about essays, its hard and boring..blah blah etc etc...
Just hope i have the mood and lots of ideas flowing through like a waterfall tmrw(more like today since its 4 AM)..wee~~

Ok Im starting to sound weird..ok thats a lie...Im already weird..im becoming more weird..bah whatever..haha

Ohya I'm All alone at home. HOME A-LONELY. My family went back to Kelantan since its school holidays and my parents wanted to vote. I'm pretty much bored and lonely. Alfian, Taufiq and Jaszry come sometimes after school. But the night is pretty much lonely since my house is noisy till late with my siblings (altogether including me,its seven siblings so imagine how drastic it is from being noisy to drop dead silent)playing and running around. So i juz on the tv to juz make noise. Its like homesick but im at home. Guess it will be that way until Sat or Sun. Well anyway, if u guys are pretty bored as well PLEASE please do talk at msn or something. Im always free. Feeling very hollow..u wont know what u have till u lose it.

Damn..the tv is on and there was a tribute to heath ledger on Ellen. He seem like a good guy. Well people die. Its sad. Now the mood is pretty much serene. Well its almost 4:30 AM. Lucky i had some sleep juz now but its time to back to sleep now. Have a long day tmrw. So readers, stay tuned, takecare and goodnight/goodmorning.

Feeling hollow..lonely..Lonely..LONELY LONELY
Need a friend.
I miss u mama papa brothers and sisters.
Tsk. BOOHOO

2008-02-18T02:15:00.004+08:00

MIA; going away again...

And so im going away again..this time its for a week to Pulau Ubin. LOL..isnt it amusing that i always update when im about to go away...anyway been wanting to update for a long juz that everytime i will be "hmm..today is so boring..maybe i'll update..*loads blogspot* haiya..so slow..no need ah next time ah" Or i will put it aside and said later and the later will be another later..another later..tmrw..next time..ah let it rot..lol.. This habit of mine.. procrastinating [dats a damn long complicated..had a headache trying to recall..hey its been a long time since i had English lessons ok..] Well i've seen lots of other blogs rotting..and if u are reading this whoever u are and im sure u are..go and UPDATE...sad u know the blog...left there alone..lonely..in the dark..un-updated (watever the word is la)..and so UPDATE..the only blog that should be left rotten is this one.PS. if uare really reading this..test out my new tagboard on the lefthand menu,click on this..,

Back to the topic..and so the camp there is kinda troublesome..yes its fun i've heard...but five days..on an island..like survivor...riding a boat there[i hate the sea..abit phobia of water..long story..next time]nak cari masa & tempat solat lagi ...aiya...oh well..if anything were to happen..and im serious..since its a forest and far away and such..[im gonna sound so weird and emo]i love u guys..forgive my mistakes and my family the same things.

About the events of the last few weeks..well it brings back memories...trying to strengthen my social skills back..not be a loner..in poly already..haha..and patching back and solidifying old frenships.Till next time..wish me a safe journey and chiow.

& Still in my mind and heart. Still hoping. Still dreaming.
Stop it.

I wont wanna regret it in the years to come..i wanna keep on trying till i succeed..
Listen to me its useless.

Shut up..i wont give up...i wont wanna grow old and say "If only i try..." . Ur juz the coward loner. I wont be u.
Dont make me say i told u so later

Well even if i failed..at least i have the satisfaction of trying my hardest...i know wat i want. And its worth it. Follow my instinct,heart and even my head tell me so.

2008-02-18T01:59:00.004+08:00

HANTU!!!!...GHOST!!!!

Yes this post is about the supernaturals...since im going to Pulau Ubin tmrw for my OBS, Outward Bound School. I'm posting about this because whether u believe it or not..ghost does exist..not actually ghost but demons and devils. I rarely told anyone abt this because well...its the weirder side of me..I been involved or affected with the supernatural world at the age of 5 or 6 if im not wrong..someone in my family got possessed..and my father read some verses from the holy Quran to get it of it..it almost transferred to me..lucky it did not. If it did...it will make ur body vulnerable as once ur body has been penetrated, there is a pathway for them to enter. And so since young i been given somewat a "gift" or rather a bane...which is the ability to sense or feel or sumtimes see these things...it may sound absurd but yes its true...recently when i went to visit my aunt in Kuala Lumpur, there was the encounter with pontianak or banshee/vampire ...the whole family or clan of them since my aunt live near the forest. Making it short, they refuse to leave the place..and so we read the Quran over and over again to rid of them..trust me its eye opening..for me..its a lesson to strengthen my faith. Im cutting it short since already 2 am and i have to go OBS tmrw..ZZZ... So for full story, ask me..
And so i write this post as im a bit worried since Pulau Ubin is a forest and mostly inhabited..if it does not disturb me..it might follow me..please Allah..i beg u..protect me please...and my family..may i not encouter anything..Amin

Seriously its in the back of mind but if im scared the more it will come so gotta keep my cool..

2008-01-12T09:55:00.001+08:00

HEEELLLOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! HANIF IS BAAACCCKKKK!!!!! haha.. syok sendiri..LOTS have happen over the last few weeks and it really OPEN my eyes...(not that it has been shut all these while..hahax). But think I'll explain and detail the events in another post. Feeling REALLY bored now...planned alot of stuff to do today but i end up doing none.. >.> ..supposed to help out with the cca open house for NCC but no one to go along with..dont want to feel odd u noe..haha...
Yesterday want to go in for training also sooo damn troublesome..make one silly mistake..went to the office for permission..bah! Actually im supposed to juz go to the guard..Gazali comes to the rescue n end up getting scolded by him "sebab menyusahkan hidup dier" and also by the guard for being silly.. >.> ...

To be continued...gtg out!
Continue from where i left off...

And so when we have passed through all those hassles >.> ...we met the ncc guys at the concourse..ZZZ..their drill and standards was like aiyoyo...all the stuff we teach them was like wasted and useless..talked to the teachers..they asked abt my results..wat school i have chosen...all the conversation goes along the same line whenever people ask abt my results..like De ja vu..
The conversation goes like this usually..
Them: So hanif..hows ur o lvls? ok or not?get how much?
Me: Hmm..Ok ah...L1r4 13 L1 R5 17..some more can minus 2 from cca..ok ok ah
Them: Wah..good ah..so wat school u choose? SP..Ngee Ann?
Me: No la..i got direct admission wat..DAE..so i know my school before my results..start school already..now in RP..
Them:RP? :/ ...wat course?
me: Biomedical science..ok wat..that course hard to go in...in the end same wat..all diploma..
Them: But wif ur results can go to those top ones...wasted ah..RP new..not established..
Me: Aiya..that time o lvls wat..kanchong ah..panic..scared fail...
Them: ZZZ...like u fail like that...
Me: Ah..get already good enuf la...thank god..in the end do well still can go far..like MSL..not top school but we still produce As..can la..
Them: :/

Sometimes ah..it makes my blood boil when this kind of conversation happens..imagine ah..u already feel regret..then they say things like this..makes u more confused...zzz..sometimes its juz the way they talk...like insulting..furthermore say only RP..ppl like "meh!" ...grr!!!

I will prove u guys wrong..i will make it big..it doesnt matter wat teacher or school u are afflicted with..its u...wat matters is u..if the teacher is fantastic..student lazy..still useless rite...

Like always i stay true to my vows...PSLE...O lvls...Insults make my blood boil.. And i, Muhammad Hanif will prove u wrong...like wat happen during my o lvls..my chem teacher insult me..saying that i cant make it and i better dropped to combined sains..i was like wth...i was so filled with anger that i could juz swear on the spot and trust me..when i swear..it means im really angry...but i take it positively and take it as a challenge and so in o lvls, i get B3 for my chem..good enuf since its pure..and so it shows im on par with the one she expects to get As...who get B3 as well...take that in the face!

Remember..i will prove them wrong...mark my words..

2007-12-16T04:57:00.000+08:00

Yay!!!! At last it have been decided that I will be departing tomorrow morning. After long time waiting...I can finally go away. Go away from all these ..these..chaos. I want to get my mind straight again. Be somewhere calm and review my actions and my decisions previously. So for u guys who been my "friends"..aren't u happy im going at last? To the ppl i love and cherish Selamat hari Raya Haji, merry christmas and I think Happy new year. Though Im still thinking whether I'll extend my stay there..coz its not my home.Hahah. I love my home n room. Well its out of my comfort zone..I'm sure I'll adapt. Today was ok. Went out with some of my friends to Republic Polytechnic. Get free thumbdrive dok...ONE GIGABYTE..yeah syok uh..walked around and looked at the booths..what was funny was they were pulling us in and talking about the courses while me and my friends were smiling at each other. WE ALREADY HAVE DIRECT ADMISSION LA.haha.Check out my course. Biomed...pretty cool sey. Soon..U'll meet Doctor Muhammad Hanif. WAH..Really hope so. Cannot find my fren's course, IT, but we were tired already so we went home straight after that. Thought of visiting Hui Lien in the hospital but late already. Huilien, if u are reading this..get well soon ok..EAT UR MEDS..or i go there later make u laugh ur ass off..haha. Finally heres my final farewell for the year. I bid gudbye. Been a very bad year for me. Bad results. Bad friends. Bad everything. Even my birthday was almost ruined by bad events. On the brighter side..it made me mature and was reveling. Although my last time spent in Marsiling Secondary was not fully accomplished..the memories was bitter yet sweet. Thought of making my tribute to my classmates but its too late. I gotta go.Till here. Cya in 20008 if i ever be back...Hanif Chow

2007-12-15T22:31:00.000+08:00

For once in a long time..someone speaks the truth. I thank you for that. Hmm..its kinda bitter sweet. I do feel kinda disappointed. Im not gonna lie about it..I mean who don't. It doesn't hurt that much once I know the answer since I was expecting it and have prepared myself for it. But I'm pretty sure its sets in soon enough. Its starting to hurt already. Like a knife in ur heart and slowly it goes deeper and deeper and cant do anything about it. Denying the facts will only make things worst. That was a first. It really was. Sadly u were outta my grasps and i cant have u but what can i say..org da tak sudi..I want people to like me for who i am and i dont like to forcing.
On the brighter side, if ever there was one, its sweet coz I can now go away without anything holding me back or anything to care about anymore. I'm free i guess. Well being alone is wat u want Hanif..u finally get it. Thank u for giving me a chance to know u. It will be a long time time before i forget u. Though u will always be within me. The place where it beats. All i want is for U to know who I am. I've done it and that's that. Ah..nothing left to say...the rest shall be left unsaid.

Ku idamkan anda berada di sisiku..walaupun hanya menjadi permaisuri ku di dalam mimpi..ia sudah cukup membahagiakan bagiku.Kerna kehadiranmu bagai permata. Sayang.. ku tidak dapat memiliki permata itu..

Selamat tinggal gadis misteri...

2007-12-15T04:45:00.000+08:00

I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Been my nature to hide after a period of time...i have my own way of doing things and think. Its unconventional and sometimes ppl dont accept it. Haha..i sound like a freak[totally not]..its just..i like to isolate so problems wont occur..with the problems and issues coming up now..my alternate nature sets in..i wanna go n hide..dont want to think anymore..just be free..but....

2007-12-15T04:24:00.000+08:00

Aduh pedih nye!!!!! Nasib baik dah plan nk kluar Singapore..tapi condition tak bagos ah..monsoon season..50-50 i go..fed-up ah duduk kat sini..bingit ngan perangai orang2 ni..haiz..
Biar ah..takya cerita pasal diorang..buang masa je..kawan konon..haprak ah..dah dah..dah lepaskan geram dah cukup..
Senang cakap kan tkya kawan dengan orang2 mcm ni...okla..nak tidur..esok gi Republic Polytecnic.. my future school if my direct poly admission is successful...woo~~
Dapat tau sikit pasal my course..Biomedical..heh..mcm woo je name die eh..haha
Dah buang tagboard. Tak guna. Anyway uses java. No good. Anything just tell me in msn or me myself. If not..well keep it to urself. Anyway decreasing my usage of msn..using something else..so some of u might not be able to see me...
Sometimes log in to check on things...well thats all..if condition willing..i leave in around two to three days. Be back after a week later or next year..if never come back..stay there or at my aunt house..better..nothing here anyway..so cya..nite nite

2007-12-13T04:09:00.000+08:00

5 am
In pain. Inside and physically.Cannot sleep. Forgot to have dinner.Actually I slept oredi. But my bros n sis make noise. Scolded them. Forced my bro to stop playing the com and go to sleep.Watched criminal minds. Bored so i on my com n start chatting to fadli, he cant sleep either..lol. How ironic. Asked my siblings to sleep while i myself never sleep. Its seems I stayed up a lot these days. Must eats my meals regularly. Make that a point*Remembering..umm..trying*. Oh well its late anyway...tunggu suboh ah..nanti tertinggal pulak. Can hear the birds hooting..dunnoe whether thats a real bird juz wake up or is it an owl going to sleep. I heard it everytime its gonna be morning. SOme say its err.."something else" and dont talk about it..oh well i dont give a damn..God is more stronger..he will protect me..haha..tapi kalau kene kacau..pengsan dulu gaknye...
The pain inside...was blog hopping..and well..its a revelation..some ppl i thought to be the ones i trust most have disappointed me...well i dont trust anyone but these ppl are the ones i "think" are realiable..well i dont really think so anymore. Still friends. Yes. Ah..nvm..dont care la..doesnt matter anyway..im a loner and an outcast..i make friends ..yes..a lot of them..mix with them?..not really..

Its been my habit to run away everytime someone gets close..those who are my real friends will understand my nature n still be by my side though..ah a story for another day..

Everytime troubles finds me and it connects with people... I feel so much like running away..isolating myself so they wont find me and i dont find them..but..everytime i thought about it i think of U..i wanna try..try go for it..since i've gone so far..why not go all the way..but no rushing

Haha..its been two times already..tried asking..everytime i do..shes gone..there was a third time though that doesnt count..i was sleeping..how i know if i was asleep?well i got my ways..haha..
I must make it a point to ask before 10 if its at night..hope third time is a charm..thats wat they say..we'll see..

2007-12-12T01:22:00.000+08:00

Ikan oh ikan kenapa engkau banyak?
Macam mana aku tak banyak, bangau tak makan aku...bangau tak makan aku.

Bangau oh bangau kenapa engkau tak makan ikan?
Macam mana aku tak makan ikan, rumput panjang sangat...rumput panjang sangat.

Rumput oh rumput kenapa engkau panjang?
Macam mana aku tak panjang, lembu tak makan aku...lembu tak makan aku.

Lembu oh lembu kenapa engkau tak makan rumput?
Macam mana aku tak makan, perut aku sakit...perut aku sakit.

Perut oh perut kenapa engkau sakit?
Macam mana aku tak sakit, nasi tak masak...nasi tak masak.

Nasi oh nasi kenapa engkau tak masak?
Macam mana aku tak masak, kayu api basah...kayu api basah.

Kayu oh kayu kenapa engkau basah?
Macam mana aku tak basah, hujan lebat turun..hujan lebat turun.

Hujan oh hujan kenapa engkau turun.
Macam mana aku tak turun,katak panggil aku.

Katak oh katak kenapa engkau panggil hujan.
Macam mana aku tak panggil hujan, tekak aku kering.

Asal tekak kering..?..Dah kering minum air la dok..tu pasal panggil hujan.
Hahax teringat lagu ni masa musim hujan2 ni. Dulu masa kecik teringat mama nyanyikan lagu ni. :) Ni agak nye cara orang dulu ceritekan smua yg terjadi...tk pon nak isi masa lapang..its true in a way...the cycle..how everyone has a part to play in this world..emm...

2007-12-07T02:52:00.002+08:00

Its late at night..in fact its already early morning nearing to three. Can't sleep. Had to have my dinner. Why bother having dinner when u can wait till tomorrow to eat? Well I have a problem. Its called gastric. If i don't eat, there would be a lot of air within me and it pushes up till my heart and lungs, compressing them. Ugh..it makes me have chest pains and difficulty breathing. Not only that, I become weak and start to blank out...never fainted before though. Haiz..even now I still huffing and puffing....hope it goes away soon..seems that Im becoming more vulnerable these days. In the middle of being sick and not..still holding on..And I'm becoming more sensitive to the sun..hot burning red sun like at noon only. Been wondering why I keep blanking out these few days after running at the stadium...thought I lacked of vitamins..then I found out that I blank out at the same time which is when the sun starts to rise. Haiyo..don't noe y im so weak. My family is from kampong..still i cant stand the heat. Hmm..maybe its a weakness..everyone has a weakness. I may ace in physical training during NCC but when it comes to drilling under the sun I'll be the first to fall out. Nevermind la. I'm thankful for what I am and what I have. It seems I need to take care and train my body more..

A little info about whats going on..went to Sentosa a week ago with my friends. Had tons of fun. Love it. Haha. Took a hundred photos..er..kind of..haha..u ppl call it camwhore is it? hah..ade ade je namer invented. I think i rather call it being candid, Camwhore is juz err..rough. lol. Went to Vivocity as well. The rooftop was amazing. The coastal wind and and relaxed atmosphere. There was a kind of a pool at the top. And people can bath in it. I was like what the heck. There were a few who have a dip in it. U ppl no shame one ah[in their clothes, not naked, if naked I won't even go la but still...]..ish..this is what I hate about these places. Too open minded. Forget earth. Went to the nearby mosque with Alfian. One of my reliable friends kalau nak ajak solat.. Yg lain mcm..ah foget abt them. Then I remembered I visited that place before..the mosque seemed familiar. But that was like ten years ago..lol..I cant remember Vivo though..oh yeah..new building..haha..
Been training these few days..go to stadiums and everything. Plans to join competition once I regain back my touch. Maybe ...far fetched it may seem.. I can accomplish one of the wishes in my wishlist...nothing is impossible and I know that very well...however these few days been raining 24 hours...i like the rain..makes me happy..i think its because its like calmness being surrounded by chaos..the cool wind and atmosphere..so calm..the fall of rainfall n clash of thunder n flash of lightning..so chaotic..gah..i so loooooove it...to think of it..since young if i have nothing to do or when im down..i watch the rain...try to find the strike of lightning..don't know why..its just..i love it.. My mum been saying usually during seasons like these...floods will occur in my kampong..
Floods..love it becoz u can play with water..hate it coz its wet n the water is mixed with longkang water dok..eeew...during a flood..confirm all the frogs come out party...a lot of them..haha..i will chase them around..while my sis will go around screaming..lol..
Tomorrow..or is it today?..I will accompany Gazali after the Friday prayers to a job interview at Changi airport..I thought of applying but I'm going back Malaysia next two weeks..u cant expect to take leaves when u just stared working..
Hmm..so it seems i wont be working for now..maybe next year..my parents dont care much whether i work or not since Im still studying but I want to..fill my time with something useful..if i still have another year in school.. i would read my new textbooks so i can be ahead of others.. a tip for you to be top. *winks*..haha..so when they start studying..i already have my basics and its just like revising..didnt do that during my final year..wat a waste...ok enough its 4 o'clock already..dah nak suboh...tidur jap..bangun suboh..tidur jap..bangun jumaat..haiz ..nampak nye pening la nanti...ok my chest almost gone..gonna sleep now...slamat malam..might as well be good morning

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EBNUE AND HUILIN.
May u have more bdaes to come..may ur good wishes be true..eh..still got cake or not ah?..haha

To whom it may concern...heh..maybe i ask the question next time we meet[are we thinking the same question?..kalau salah..paisey sey..haha]
..i was err..cuckoo..that time..keep on laughing..,
Well whatever the answer..im fine with it.
Whats amusing and interesting is how straight-forward you are..hmm..intriguing..you're interesting you know that....its a compliment :)

2007-11-24T01:06:00.000+08:00

HAIYA!!!!!!...Almost everytime i got camp...this thing happen...sheesh...why must these things follow me home one...want to disturb..disturb at camp n get it done n over with...dont come n disturb my family members..alamak...u see ah later..i pray hard hard make sure u burn ah..go to hell...sibok ah..kaypoh..go back where u came from..u dont scare me la...sheesh...first the gunung ledang expedition..go there dont want to kacau me..then come back kacau my family...u wanna die is it?...then this sports leader camp..u kacau..black figure la..black supernatural cat la...make fake sound like ppl shouting la..u think funny ah..alamak...GO HOME!...if not im gonna chase u out...n trust me..u wont like it...ALLAHUAKBAR!

To the others...when there is a camp..pray hard it wont disturb u...n dont stay up late...dont go around alone..even in our school..i mean it...

2007-11-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

Back from sports leader camp...im feeling VERY tired..my eyelids are droopy..but i've slept already in the afternoon..dont want too sleep too much but it seems i still need more. This must be becoz of the sentry duty last nite...didnt sleep one whole nite..spent the nite stargazing n eating(ordered mcdonald through the mc delivery service..clever eh..hahax)..heh..kinda like a picnic in the midnite..haha..well as usual..there were weird things happening..shadows moving around in circles at the second floor of the foyer...black cat appearing n disappearing..we heard someone shouted..thought something happened so rushed to the central square(we were hanging out at the basketball court-laid out my gigantic sleeping bag n made it like a mat)when those who went to check out came back ...they said there was nothing..in fact those who were in the central square n not asleep yet told us no one screamed..the others want to go back to the canteen but we stay behind...who give a damn..if something wanna disturb us..c'mon..i dont care..(haha, talk big..if it really happens..baru tau)The camp was ok..got to noe my juniors..anyway it might be my last camp..unless the invite me again..there was some hiccups along the way...injuries..food getting stolen n the culprit not confessing..wat a waste of time n a spoilsport...all the scolding..kinda disppointed i mean..we are going to pass th reins to them n this kind of things happen especially in the council..hope this dont happen again..u are leaders..im confident u can change ppl..haiz..anyway had a great time..

The POA exam-LCCI went well..it was quite simple..Bank reconcilation ..Profit n loss,depreciation n general journal entries..hope i get a distintion in both exams...at least a merit will do...now i need to study for my religious class exams on the coming sunday..after that i will organise a class outing..i think of going to play wargames..kinda like paintball...(u noe like fake war)...well check this out peeps..this is my suggestion i noe u ppl cant wait..hang in there..now gtg to sleep la..tired..going running 2morrow..n have a lot of plans..so chow ppl..dream well

2007-11-20T19:34:00.000+08:00

I didn't cry the day u move away
Didn't think that i would feel this pain
until I saw the stranger that was You

Whatever happen to our innocence
And that something that You said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be that nothings gonna change
Cause time has gone away and taken back everything You thought You had
Can u see the girl You used to be
The one I lost when i let go of You
oh whatever happen to Mary Jane

I need to wake up from this state of mind
This situation is the same kind
I gotta to get the memory of out of my head
Would you catch me if I hadn't fall
Would you even found the time through that it all

Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be that nothings gonna change
Cause time has gone away and taken back everything You thought You had
Can u see the girl You used to be
The one I lost when i let go of You
oh whatever happen to Mary Jane

Whatever happen to my dear Mary Jane..and that something abt us being frens...could it be nothings gonna change?

Numbers...123..$$$...I want to become an accountant

2007-11-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

My family is out to JB and I'm here stuck taking care after my 2 little bros whom i failed to persuade to go along..babysitting always..dats me...well..gonna update about the past happenings these week. I had the accounting course LCCI...for this week its level two which is accounting using the computer. At first it was pretty confusing u see...the journals n accounts needed editing and everything..well at the end I finally get the hang of it...wif the help of a couple of my friends..since I was late..forgot that i attended the course..wats amazing was that we 4m4 boys finished earlier than others almost every time..haha...u should see the look on the instructor's face..coz some of it were not taught yet..haha.."You guys are pretty fast aren't..ur catching up pretty fast...well next week is the exams..hope i dont forget ANYTHING..though sitting in front of the comp key-ing numbers really cause me to have a spliting headache..ugh!..an accountant as a job? Ebnue suggested finding an accountant job later..hmm....well part time ..yes..full time...hmm..lemme get use to those numbers first ok? 12345667889012345667890233445567789$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Open 4 a while.....

2007-11-11T12:12:00.000+08:00

There u go..my blo9,the split room, is opened up for all to see...so as u can see its rotting as always..haha..no la..i've retreated some of the posts..(malu la)...lol...anyway i think i will write a tribute to my beloved dear 4m4....so stay tune dudes..here comes my final salutes!

Updates?..o lvls almost done but i still got a hell lot of exams...LCCI..accounting exam...n religous class's exams..dang am i not crazy enough..these ppl are trying to make me insane by thinking too much...
nah..i'll survive..n i asked my father whether i should find a job...his answer?..no need..the reason?..im going to be sent away somewhere to study..haiz...be back in two months for the o lvls results..so cherish all the time u have wif me ppl..before the madness go away...ok back to the books n study study study...

All work n no play makes jack n dull boy...thats not gonna happen to me..haha...i always have time to play..chow!

Gone..n one day i shall fade n disappear

2007-10-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

This shall probably be my last post for a long time...o lvls draws near n i have to try my best to overcome it..i can do everything i want after dat...so i shall suffer a little bit for that glory...anyway..even if i posts or if i never posts it doesnt even matter...it doesnt affect me...unless thre is someone out there reading..is there anyone out there reading?!?!?!?...nope..no answers..well enough of all my nonsense...gotta get back to my books now...tommorow is chem paper 2 n it marks the start of my o lvls..wish me luck..guess thres no more time left to gt to noe that gadis misteri...tak perla...wat happens shall happen...i noe theres a reason behind everything n it has been proven...wat i like may not be good for me n wat i dont like is actually good for me..the higher power always noes best...well if ther is evr a chance i really wanna get to noe her..her character is wat truly attracts me...the mistery that eludes her...she seem changed too...in a good way i think...is it?....ppl change i guess..i hate change...some are good of course...but most i see are bad...only time will tell i guess....damn i sound like emo..eeeeewwwwwwwww......

btw if the last few days i seem cocky or sombong..im sorry but i gotta alienate myself for a well...i wanna focus all my attention on my o lvls n not think of other things...but i think i can afford to smile..i try ..i check on it once in a while..haha..goodbye ppl...

Lost apart of me in this hectic nonsense....away...soul searching..b4 i lose mysyself completely

My name is Muhammad Hanif..signing off right now...tuesday, 23-10-2007, 9:27:44..lol..nonsense..bye
Hanif chow

Something has caught my ATTENTION

2007-10-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

Ape da...wat in the world...sape la pandai2 buat cerita ni...grr..now i sound like im SS..no not social studies...its syok sendiri...aka silver surfer...haha...everything theres me..mesti kecoh nye...aku datang dari kelantan..nak kecoh...aku masok race ..nak kecoh...aku tukar hairstyle nak kecoh...aku ngah buat kawan ngan ppl from the opp sex..nak kecoh..hish..sebok je...biarla..tak menyusah kan pe....they make me sound syok sendiri..n this post make me sound syok sendiri..watever it is...Im not wif someone...n jgn kepoh bole tak...haiz..no wonder ppl change their reaction towards me..kurang asam..

Ok..with that over..time for this..its never too late for this..

2007-10-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

Dengan datangnya bulan yang baraqah dan bahagia ini...aku menyusun sepuluh jari jemariku dengan memohon maaf atas segala kesalahan dan kesusahan yang pernah aku adakan...oleh itu maafkan lah aku kerna aku memohon maaf kepada semua rakan-rakan dan orang2 di luar sana dengan spenuh hatiku...kepada yang lain...aku telah maafkan segala kesalahan mu...semua kecelaan dan hina yang telah dilempar kepada ku..telah ku maafkan tanpa rasa dendam....sekali lagi..maafkan aku dan halalkan makan minum ku..sekian..Selamat hari raya..

With the coming of this holy n joyful month, I raise my hands in beg of ur forgiveness over all the sins n nonsense that i have commited...i beg for ur pardon sear friends n people out there with the bottom of my heart n with every ounce of energy witthin..i have forgiven n pardoned all the things n misfits dats is being thrown towards me...without n inch of vengeance left behind...once again i beg for ur forgiveness n bless all the food n drinks as well things that is from u to me...urs truly...Selamat hari raya

This..this is why i hate to socialise..grrr.....argh!!

2007-10-23T20:19:00.000+08:00

I hate this type of person....hypocrites....grr...why did i ever get to noe them...argh....u think u can fool me?!,,trying to make a joke ah... to think that i dont noe that u noe some things... hmmph!!!,,trying to lie ur way ou..i juz noe it..haha u make me laugh..i have a lot of contacts out there..its lucky i see it earlier before it happened,,,.im on the verge of screaming every single profanities at u...still i wont swoop at ur level...cis...TO ALL PPL OUT THERE...IF U DONT WANNA BE FRENS..JUZ TELL ME COZ FRANKLY I DONT WANNA WASTE MY TIME ENTERTAINING U EITHER...PPL LIKE THIS MAKE ME PUKE...REALLY IF U DONT LIKE THE PERSON..TELL THEM STRAIGHT IN....THE...FACE...!!!!..ok...now im done...this is really not me..its juz ppl like this dont deserve attention..they deserve to taste a piece of my knuckles...haiz...no use scolding...easy juz dont mix wif them...n u will be on ur way to heaven

LAST NOTE: GET OUTTA MY FACE N GO AWAY......DONT EVER BOTHER ME...BTW PPL READING THIS DONT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS IT IS U..watever..haha..aik..ketawa pulak?!...laugh already ah..Im mad!!!!...sape la kena marah ni...

Everything juz go rosak...SPOILT..

2007-10-23T18:54:00.000+08:00

Why all my things keep going haywire n broken these days?..either dat or it went MIA...its very irritating u noe...first my stuff...then my comp..then the car brokedown n the list goes on n on....not only my stuff are spoilt..ven my brain is spoilt i think....my prelims results are damn disappointing....no failures but its not up to expectation....gotaa buck up...pray that one thing dat goes right is my O levels...AMIN!

Balik kampong!!!!

2007-10-18T18:03:00.000+08:00

Ramadhan has ended...here comes the month of Syawal n Hari Raya..went back to my kampong in Kelantan...Went there alone since the car is already full...bus left at 830 in the evening from larkin terminal in johor n reached at around 7..went straight to the mosque n do my hari raya prayer while waiting for my father to pick me up...wats interesting is everyone was shocked at how fast I grew..=.=..haha....some even thought i was my father...wth....they said it was becoz of my height n with my glasses..i look old...maybe its the exams they say..hmm..maybe...when i wear my cntacts..its my sis turn to look old..lol...car broke down in the mid of the forest..wth..went back by bus nrached johor by midnight..well it was really tiring..till here...gtg...my frns scolding me ....especially tube the noob...Selamat hari ray n who wants duit raya come my house....in kelantan..haha..no la ..seriously..all welcomed..bye,,
Hanif chow

Ramadhan, my favourite month

2007-10-18T16:09:00.000+08:00

Yay!!! Ramadhan has arrived...come to think of it, its been a really fast year...one of the signs that the world is coming to an end...anyway...most peoplewill hate this month becoz of the fasting...but hey!...its just a few hours of not eating...people in the other countries are dying of starvation...I hate people who cannot handle a bit of suffering...ignorant bastards, weaklings...ok getting back to the subject...I love this month...no need to worry about food...I can also gather as much pahala (good deeds) as possible...In this month, the pahala is multiplied way bigger than any other month...I have been concentrating on the last few days where one unknown nite known as Lailatul qadar will appear. And on that nite, all ur wishes will come true, the pahala is so great..its worth a thousand nites...how i wish i met that night...i manage to gather almost all of the sec 4 malay boys, most were 4m3 n 4m4,manage to psycho them since Os are coming, to follow me to the mosque to pray in the middle of the night..we practically slept there and woke up at 3 to pray...it was quite hectic since it clashes with the o lvl praactical..well we hope we get our wishes...n btw we were interviewed by berita harian , the malay newspaper ..woooott...n here comes hariraya...!!!
Hanif chow

Glasgow, Scotland

2007-10-18T16:02:00.000+08:00

I shall start with the journey I made to my aunt's house, somewhere in Ipoh...It was ok, fun I can say...We had a barbeque in the backyard...I was in charge of starting the fire since I'm in NCC...It went haywire at first but it went perfectly well in the end after we figured it out...Had two birthday cakes (cousins' bdae) and it was chocolate, I don't really like chocolate, unless I have a craving or my sweet tooth goes cuckoo, only then i will eat chocolate like there's no tomorrow...Other than that I prefer fruit flavours or other flavours that is sweet...On our way back to singapore, there was a traffic jam at 2AM IN THE MORNING!!!!...I was like...WTH....managed to go through it and I was really exhausted when I reached home...contacted my aunt who already went to scotland...Like my father predicted as he went there before, the beginning was fun as never seen snow before and the place is nice but u will get sick of it as u cant do much in winter...but in spring and summer, it will be damn beautiful with the flowers...
thx again ebnoob..tube...4 writing
hanif chow

Closed book

2007-10-18T15:49:00.000+08:00

Hey there! Its been a long time since I posted ...its sad eh seeing these damn old posts....Well, posting really ain't my thing...Yes, I know, I know that's the main purpose of the blog but...well, Iam a reserve guy u see..I prefer to keep most stuffs about me hidden...In other words, I am not an open book for everyone to read and see...If there's someone out there that thinks they know me, you can be 100% sure that he/she's lying unless that person is a part of my family...There are different sides of me and the only true person who understands me are my family and two of my closest friends...You might see me as a funny guy, simple and always with a smile present on my face regardless whether in good or even bad times...Frankly speaking, even I laugh when I'm being beaten up...Haha, seriously I do...But all that is only a mask...Those jokes and crap and loyar buruk I have been vomitting all these years were to elude and hide my true emotions...My sadness, sorrow, anger and anguish....I don't see why people need to be affected when they see my glum face coz its my problem and I have to solve it...I don't get angry either, rarely...coz when I do I just change...My eyes change, my veins pop up and my fangs will start to show...The most I will do is shut up and glare...It always works...Enough with all these, I will start updating on the last events that happened starting with the journey to my aunt's house...
credits to tube...n btw..i made a blog becoz ppl keep pestering me..and its the best way to "comment" on some ppl..xP
Hanif chow

2007-09-26T15:19:00.000+08:00

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Pics from the teachers' day party....little bit late i guess..but what the heck..who cares..didn't eat the cake though...beliefs reasons...suspicious of wat it contains...anyway ate everything else...worth it I guess...was fun n I get my money back :)..lol..wanna post pics from visiting my aunt but it still in the cam...

Everything seems to go the other way round...still fun it is

2007-09-07T15:27:00.000+08:00

Halo ppl...its been long since I updated ..I noe....but everything seems to be turning the other way round..and its becoming worse...haiz..well lets start with the events of last week....
Last week, was the starting of my prelims..practicals,chemistry and physics,..I screwed up my physics practical..not that I didn't study..but because I didn't plan my time well...should have concentrtaed on the five marks qns 1st rather than the one mark qns....wat makes it hurts even worst is that it was the easiest design experiment qn I ever seen and one look, I noe how to do...it was all gone just like dat...haiz...well at least my chemistry went well...I think it did...I did everything right..my readings were almost the same as my friends too...and I even have some time to play around..haha..WTH...that was a relief..phew....
Now to teachers day....dat was so hectic...it all started when me n my group of classmates have juz finished our practical..and here comes an idea through my head n I said "hey! Lets have a teachers day party since its Ms lye last year n our graduation year too.....it can also be as an apology to Ms lye...since we screwed up our Physics practical..she cried when she is scolding us...whisch is bad..so what u guys think?"..so much of my big idea...I forked out my savings for the week..about $20...n still waiting for my classmates to pay...haiz....and I went home around 8 pm..my parents were interrogating me....I said it was for teachers day and so is the money...got a little scolding but since it was for teachers day n its my money...its fine by them..phew...all the cost amounted to about a hundred dollars..Ebnue do the maths..accounting ..actually its my job as I keep alll the receipts but I was so tired to even remember what the capital account look like...Yong kang spent the largest part of all..he bought the cake...n he was happy to do it...salutes to him..though Im still mad that he punked me by telling me that his parents thrashed him for buying the cake all by himself..grrr....
Now for the big day...I was late as usual as we were supposed to be early in order to set up everything....but when I got there..I found them stranded n stuck....the classroom was locked and when we asked our chairman Nasruddin...blur as always( ok it sounds bad but thats the way he is)...left the key at home...another grrr.....so I n Malik went to find the auntie who hold all the keys but she was nowhere to be found..haiz...but the fun thing was I managed to see this girl..u noe what I mean...we just looked at each other and stared for a moment...and we both looked away like as if nothing happen..well I managed to gather some info...that is a story for another post..back to the teachers day..there was a concert and dedications..it was ok la....not bad...midway I got out and went to class to prepare...had to stop for some walk since its ACES day..went back..prepare again...there was a few fights btween my classmates ...wat is it..I dont really noe...I hate getting involved but when it gets serious...then I will..but wat the hell...let them settle it out btwen them...still have to do somemore things...when everything was ready..I, malik,faruq, heiqal and hadi went to fetch the teachers..guard of honours they called us..hehe...me and Faruq took a little detour to look at them..ehem..ehem..hehe...somehow n Faruq agrees wif me..everytime I past their class...there must be some ppl who blocks my way...wat is this ..a conspiracy?....well all went well and the teachers felt honoured and appreciated...success I say...but shame..it took a lot of my time and I did not manage to go back to my primary school...n its my last chance..well its ok I guess ..I mean my bro n sis still schools there....gotta stop here...have to go a prepare my luggage...going to Ipoh to see my auntwho is going to england as her husband needs to get a Bsc or Phd....well till next time..cya n wish me a safe journey.
Hanif chow

2007-08-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

One word to describe the last few days....ArGhhhh!!!!!!.....ok I admit dats not a word but still Argghhh!!!!......One problem after another....haiyo....like as if my prelims and O levels are not stressing enough....seriously...wat have I brought upon myself......
I guess thats why God has never granted that particular wish.....this might be a sign for me.....I guess you guys out there don't understand wat in the world I'm I spluttering abut but sorry dudes cannot tell u now.....
Need to do my revisions....physics prelim practical 2morrow...chemistry prelim practical the day after n teachers' day on Friday so gonna be really hectic these few days.....
So you guys might be thinking why I'm online right now since I got a test 2morrow...this all brings me back to the problem....haiz...anyway taking a break now....so I'll explain all these err...crap....later..wish me luck..cause I think I really need it especially now....going back to the books so.....hanif chow...

Hanif brings new meaning to blogging

2007-08-26T21:54:00.000+08:00

People out there.......ya I'm talking to you.......at last somehow I had a sudden urge
to make my very own blog...so here I am posting my very first blog. I was previously hesitant on making one(blog)..as I really REALLY hate following others...I like being unique as possible u see...other than that...I'm kinda conserved n don't like to interact so much...in other words antisocial....no no...that doesn't make me a boring person to make a conversation with..you'll be surprised ....man I need to ask those ppl with blogs out there...does writing a blog feel like talking to yourself...coz i certainly feel like it....but it feels kinda relieving doesnt it....
Now.....what did I do today...no religious class today so I was able to sleep a little bit more after my morning prayers....dat was a relief since I stayed up late last night playing a game...dat was a dumb thing to do...self discipline Hanif ..self discipline....then I went to the library..study...dat was good since I manage to complete my hmwk...but I wonder why in the world my frens wanna study so early in the morning..okok..at noon....
This question of mine was answered....he wanna watch this girl practise 4 teachers day at the stadium...kinda like stalking but hey...u would do anything if u were curious since nvr seen her b4....haha...cant say who my fren is though...juz to him..remember curiousity kills the cat....went home n took care of my siblings till now since my parents went out to sent my sis to her hostel in Johor..till here ah...I wrote one damn long essay already..to people out there good night n may u find a life soon..haha..hanif chow...